Weak

Weak

I'm just as weak as I thought I am. I hate it when things happen. Australia still hasn't treat me well yet.

Worst Ever

Worst Ever

Today happen to be my worst day ever in my life. Really that bad. Don't ask me why, but I'm feeling super miserable now. Can never imagine this ever happen. But actually it's just a normal incident which would happen anywhere. So, am trying not to think about it. God! Please clear my mind!

Anyway, haven't blog about last Sunday's potluck. Was indeed a lovely potluck dinner. Having them over for dinner was fun with eating, chit-chatting and mafia-ing. We had a lot of food. Like really a lot that we can't finish. In the end, everyone has to take some of the leftover home for tomorrow. What do we have? Pasta, Onion soup with bread and cheese, Meatball, Chicken Wrap, Cake, Anzac cookie, and oh ya the most important- softdrinks! They are just simply wonderful. When can we have our next steamboat? huh? huh? huh?

"I'm still very down. Somebody cheer me up please."

Once Upon A Time as Milk Maid

Once Upon A Time as Milk Maid

Read post from Xini yesterday. It brings back a lot of great memory working with Uncle Johnny, Cassey, Xini, Chris, Fang, Julie, Janet, Wei Jie, Nick, Xiao Wen... etc. So many of them. Working as what? Milk Maid of course. HAHA. I miss the time playing around with kids, educating them about the goodness of milk, playing games with them and roving from kindy to kindy, state to state. It was really fun.

Every morning, we start working at 7am. Waiting at office. Uncle will be there and wait for us. Uncle Johnny, he is a 70+ years old uncle. He is actually the father of the ladyboss. He drive us around KL area with his memory on the way to places and he tend to get the wrong way. He love telling us stories while he is driving. What story? Stories about the old girls she drove around and all the incidents about his past. The best thing is, he can't stop repeating. Oh ya, and one more thing, he will forever pay for our meal. Even if we have meal allowance when we go working at other state.

Working as the 'milk maid', we always get to go to other state by ourselves. I'm one of the driver of course. I enjoy the time when we get to travel. I just miss the time. Awww....

Someday We'll Know

Someday We'll Know

Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you

This song just can't stop singing in my head. Have been so into Nicholas Sparks's movie. I know, he is an author, not screen writer. But I really love all the movie of his book. To some people they are just another lovey dovey movie. Same goes to me actually. But still I enjoy it very much. Envy the story that happened on the character. I must be out of my mind being a high school girl again looking for TRUE LOVE am I? LOL. Too much of these.

Well, lately haven't been kinda relieved after the tightest period of the semester (yet to say). Have been struggling on my part time job. I've been learning really hard to cope up with the standard. I'm just not good enough. I'll be evaluate soon. But I'm just so anxious. Never in my life time being so miserable when it comes to work. I'm also keeping to look for another part time job beside this. But can't seems to find any. Hmm... Showing you one of my work. Really love this job but, it filled with uncertainty.


Just saw something. And it just gave me a big hit all of a sudden. But this is my own problem thinking about it. I always envy. Really envy. Why I can't be someone like that? No matter how much I did, how hard I try, I just can't be like that. Feel so pathetic about myself. Some people are just gifted. Can't compare, can't even think of being like them, because I just can't. Not that I don't want to, it's just can't. They just shine. I'm forever to be the one shadowed.

"Lets start loving whole heartedly. "

Swear Too Much?

Swear Too Much?

I've been swearing too much lately and everyone has been bugging me complaining that I shouldn't be like this bla bla bla. Being too stress about assignment and life isn't good enough to be the reason to explain my did? Swearing, an action expressing anger. Isn't this the way human being created to express how they feel? Otherwise, why would vulgar words or even this word 'swearing' ever exist? Why did people wanna hide or even being vague about writing or even saying that word? f***, fxck, effing, fking....etc This is just so pointless.

I don't understand!

Anyway, that was a wise advise. I accept but just wondering about this for some time. Please allow me to say this for the last time.

"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Crap

Crap

What should I say? What can I say? I shouldn't be complaining cause I'm not at the right position to complain. It's just not my right. Well I should just get used to it and now I should cut this crap before it gets out of control.

I've been so so so stressful for the past whole week. I guess everyone knows what happened to me. Well it didn't really happen, it just has to be like that since the day I step on this land. Assignment of course. What do you think I'm talking about? Well, try imagine 2 assignments due the same date and a group assignment need to be done. I haven't been sleeping for more than 7 hours for the past whole week. Tired! I can't even go out and have fun on a Friday night. This is just so pathetic. Not that I don't like or don't wanna go, it's I'm forced to stay home and finish up my pile of homework. It's not the end yet. It will never ends until the day I grad.

I need somebody to cheer me up now. Can somebody please cheer me up? I really need it now. This is just so sad when I have to beg someone to cheer me up well of course I can't do it myself. I'll be really stupid if I talk to the mirror and tell myself to cheer up. HEY! What am I talking here? Gosh, I'm talking nonsense here. Should really cut this crap and get back to work before its toooooooo late. Ciaoz~

Can't Turn Back

Can't Turn Back

It's not like last time. They way we talk, the way we interact, it's totally different. Somehow, we are just like stranger. I don't know why. People always said it will change when it gets longer, and now I kinda agree with that. But, I don't want it to change. Can we turn back to what we were before? How I wish we could. You're like an angel to me. I missed the time when we spend time together hanging out, eating, shopping, chatting, working, everything. I want you back.

Ego

Ego

Foundation of International Business (Mid sem test) - 13/4
Cinema Studies (Mise en scene analysis) - Due 19/4
Network Literacies (HTML) - Due 19/4
Radio Production and Criticism A (7 mins interview) - Due 20/4

They are stressing me here. All forcing me to work late, work hard, work fast. Eventually they all came in all at a different time, but it all due the same time. Why did all the lecturers want it to be like that? Well, it's mid semester, everything has to be done. I've started my revision days ago. Just finished, but it's just a beginning. Much more to study on. Others, I haven't even started to think what am I gonna do with it. Haven't even started to work on it. How? Time is limited. My time is really tight. Stressing me up. The only time where I can runaway from all these is sleep. Yea, I love sleeping. Well not really, cause I used to think sleeping kills much of time when I was back in Malaysia. But now, I started love sleeping especially when I'm stressed up. Well, this is not a good habit thou.

Spoke to a friend of mine about this sex issue. I mean gender issue. He said, ladies denial of age is a comedy to him. Well, I kinda agree with him partially. Which I think women hide it because of the world's perception on the word 'old'. Old is about ugly, wrinkle, fat, dark circle, blemish, dark spot, and any words you can think of about old. Why does women hates about the word 'old'? It's all because of men. Men don't like those 'old' elements on women. This has to talk about men's ego. A friend of mine, has a boyfriend who wanted her to be perfectly beautiful at all time. He didn't want to be defame by people around him cause he has an 'old' girlfriend. In the end, they break up cause she was so frustrated with his ego. I'm kinda happy for her.

Gonna work tomorrow, I mean later. So I think I better get some rest now before getting myself stone at work tomorrow. Ciaoz~

No!

No!

I just don't wanna be like them. I'm not them. I'm different. I don't want!!!

I Miss Everyone

I Miss Everyone

My gosh! Typed a whole essay long post then it's gone >.< I haven't started any of my homework yet. Argh~~! I'm just a lazy-pizzy-wizzy girl. Give me some motivation please. But not something like I'm gonna fail my subject. *Puke* I will pass! Finally, I got myself a pillow yesterday, but still sleepless night. What is going on with me. Well I don't know. Keep waking up and mind running crazy. Arrrrgggghhhh~~ Yesterday went for an interview at GPO, a cafe. Back to what I did last time at Honey Bee. Coffee milk coffee milk and coffee and milk. That's what I did last time. I miss the time with my besties and also my handsome boss Marcus. Wonder how is he now? Surviving in Aus? or back to US? Well, hope everything will be fine tomorrow. I want that job!!! Please give me all your luck. Please please please. I need that.

It's gonna be Ching Ming tomorrow. Which is the day Chinese will pay respect to their ancestor at the tomb. Parents and relatives went today back in Malaysia of course. Reminds me of my granny. My lovely granny. I miss her so much. Miss her scent, miss her smile, miss her face, miss her cooking, miss her yelling at people, miss her everything. Wish that she is doing great in the other side of the universe. I love you po po~

As day goes by, good things and bad things happen. Where you can't really avoid from all of them. Especially when bad things come in a really nasty way. Not really that bad anyway, I'm the one to blame anyway. Why do I have to find out about it? Why do I have to search about that? Why do I have to continue finding about it? Blame myself. Stupid stalker! And why do you want to make yourself so miserable?! That's why I'm stupid. Looking at it won't make you feel better but only worst. Bad things normally comes in pair, or maybe triplets. Just blame myself for everything. I made my own decision, it's my choice anyway. Bare with it! Leave it when you can't stand it anymore.

I shall go get a cold shower to cool myself down now. But it's like 18 degree now. Freaking cold wei, still cold shower? Hmm...

Calling For My Angel

Calling For My Angel

Can't stop repeating this song. OMG! Can't get the tune out of my head. Jason Derulo is just awesome.

Calling My Angel

Found myself in a dark room all day
(All day, all day, all day)
Hoping the silence
Would take this pain away
(Away, away
Cos no one else is here
To wipe away my tears
When they fall (oh no)
And no one hears me screaming,
But these four walls

So I'm calling out your name
Hoping you'd hear me (hear me)
Got both hands on my heart
Hoping you'd feel me (feel me)
Cos baby I feel you when I close my eyes
Calling out for you, I can't sleep at night

Can someone help me find my angel
Cos every breath I take without, is painful
Please someone, help me find my angel
Cos I know she's hear me calling
Hear me calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel
Wherever I'll be,
Calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel

Now, who's gonna pick me up
When I fell down (down)
You left with a part of me
The air is thinning,
It's getting so hard to breathe
(Breathe, breathe)
Breathe,
Try to take the pain away with this pen
But I just keep writing your name over again
No one can take your place (no)
Life without you is impossible

So I'm calling out your name
Hoping you'd hear me (hear me)
Got both hands on my heart
Hoping you'd feel me (feel me)
Cos baby I feel you when I close my eyes
Calling out for you, cos I need you in my life

Can someone help me find my angel
Cos every breath I take without, is painful
Please someone, help me find my angel
Cos I know she's hear me calling
Hear me calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel
Wherever I'll be,
Calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel

Yeah hmmm
Just put your hands in the air
If you're missing somebody
Come home
Cos I can't handle this alone

Can someone help me find my angel
Cos every breath I take without, is painful
(Baby, baby come home)
Please someone, help me find my angel
(I know you hear me)
Cos I know she's hear me calling (ooh)
Hear me calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel
Got me singing oooh,
Calling, calling, calling for my angel
Calling for my angel, I'm calling for my angel


I'm in someway just too lazy to write up anything I guess. LOL.

Blank

Blank

The 2nd day of Holiday. Nothing much on. I didn't do anything except sitting at my desk stupidly looking at my Whitey doing nothing. How pathetic is that? Eventually really nothing. The plans I listed out yesterday, I did none of them.

Yesterday I slept at 3.30am, trying to sort something out but failed. Spoke to Wilson for a couple of hours, talking crap. LOL. Was kinda relaxing to talk to people who is such a joke. I'm just joking, I know you're reading. haha. Was nice talking to him about his traveling plan. I wish I could. I'm trying to plan mine too. But it's not easy especially when it comes to "kaching kaching". You know what I mean.

Yesterday was April Fool. I didn't get fool of course. Reminiscing the same time last year. Somebody gave me a cake. I thought it was a joke or something. But anyway, that was really lovely and wonderful. Like I always said, simple makes the best thing ever. That cake has no trick in it. Simply just a gift from a friend. Was so so touch. I even finish the cake on my own. LOL

Well, I'm still very empty now. What should I do? What can I do?