l I l Y

2 • 0 • 1 • 2

2012-01-01T00:22:00.000+11:00

The year has ended. New one is here. What is past is passed. Perhaps I shall learn to forgive. As I never regret what happened over the year. What is meant to be, it will be. I thank each and everyone that had made my year. It's been great with ups and downs. My life became so exciting which I never had before. I thank each and everyone that had made me who I am today. I'm stronger, tougher, better. Live life. Hope it's not the end of the world, even if it will be, I'm glad what I had came across. Happy New Year.

I Am Just Like Everyone Else

2011-12-29T13:08:00.000+11:00

It's almost the end of a year. What I'm expecting for the coming year is all the business that awaits me. Normally when it comes to year end, this should either be a flash-back or a resolution post right? I should just be normal. Let's have a flash-back.

The year passed by in the speed of light. I didn't had a good start for the year. Instead it was really the suckiest in my life. I spent my New Year Eve stuck in the car when the clock strikes 12:00. Boo... Overall the starting of the year is kind of a balance, equal portion of happiness and sadness. It's a balance. I'm not complaining. But the extreme emotion change made me loss a lot of weight. Like 10kg? Haha. Well, I see it in a good way. I got a sexy waist from that. Haha.What is consist in the sad part. It's of course the break up. Nothing much I want to say about the break up. Well, I see it in a good way too. What I get out of this is more and more happiness, as well as all the freedom that I own. In return, I got loads of happiness out of the break up. I love myself more and more each day.

Besides the break up part, I got all stressed up because it's my final semester in uni. When I look back, it wasn't that hard after all. I'm fortunate to have got my degree without have to resit any paper. Thank God. Other than being stress for homework, break up and job, I've traveled around Melbourne having some great time with them. I had fun seeing the Prince of the Ocean, Hot Spring, Disney Exhibition. At the end of the semester, we went Gold Coast for our so-called Graduation trip.

Oh! This is when the drama comes by. Probably not many people know about this. Or did everyone already know about it? Yes! I'm talking about the back-stab, childish I-friend-u-u-don't-friend-him/her thing, gossips and non-stop gossip. Thanks to those people I actually realized who's really good to me and who really my friends are. Thank you "girls".

I'm not complaining. Seriously I'm not. Over all of the drama, I still feel happy. The year had actually treated me well. I'm different. In every way. I'll just look forward to the coming year. Hopefully it wouldn't really be the end of the world because I haven't had the TIME OF MY LIFE yet.

"What comes around, goes around."

Incredible • Life

2011-12-16T05:25:00.001+11:00

"I have time I have time I have time."

That's what I'm thinking everyday. Same old phrase I've been saying since I came back. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm all packed up. I'm gonna be so busy in the coming days. Or perhaps years. I can see that coming.

I have plenty of stories to tell this round. Where should I start? Hmm... Perhaps let's start with a getaway to Incredible India.

Almost everyone who first heard about me going to India, would ask me:"Why India?" Followed by a questioning squirking face, something like this ="=?? Then, followed by an advice:"Beware of diarrhea." Haha. Well, I would say, India is an Incredible country. Thou I haven't seen the whole country, but I've seen the worst and also the best of the world. (Did I?) We went in a 3 girls group. Yea, just 3 girls. We're brave enough to explore this head twisting place without any solid planning with only 2 nights of hotel stay and a 2 way airticket booked. People were generally kind to us, except the part that some of the people couldn't speak English. That's when paper, pen and drawing take place. We thought it would me more of like a backpacking, bunk-bed, dirty, walking kinda trip. But ended up something more like a well planned teenager luxurious trip. Not really luxury thou, but some of the 3 stars hotel were really impressive. Like what we should do, we went to the Golden Triangle of India, which is Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. A driver uncle drove us the whole journey, saved us from squeezing into smelly and hot train. Haha. The uncle was a really nice man, his name is Mr Santosh. Besides chauffeuring us around, he is really a thoughtful and caring tour guide. Telling us what to do, and what's not. Always concern about our leisure and safety. Of course, end of the trip we tipped him well. =) Oh! Me and Ser did get sick, on the last day of the trip. We got diarrhea, and I even got fever that night. This is sort of like a killer. Hmm... Well we still enjoyed. Seeing the magnificent Taj Mahal, living in the Holy city, passing by country sides, disappointment of not able to see any tigers. They were all wonderful, it is definitely an experience of life.

Looking back at the journey, somehow I think I'm fortunate and some of the scenes kept me ponder about life. For instance. There was this day where we have to take a 3 hours drive through a bumpy rocky road with dust and sand everywhere. I saw 3 young children in their school uniform, not really clean but neat and tidy. They were holding an apple in their hands. Looking at it, for kids like us wouldn't want to even touch it when it covered with sand and dust. Even their hair, hands and feet were the same, yellowish. Passing by them, I saw a few kids, probably around 2-3 years old looking at the direction of the 3 children jumping and smiling. Seems like they are joyful about something. Then I realized it's the dirty and dusty apple that brought them joy.

Besides, I also came across some people on the street. We were very defensive to them. Protecting our valuables. Probably these are the consequences of Malaysia Society and Media. They saw us carrying cameras. All they ask for was just a picture of theirs and maybe a piece of something from Malaysia which we don't even value the existence of it. Say, a pen for instance. It's a treasure to them from a foreign country.

They are different. An unwanted thing of ours could be the precious thing of their life and even brought them joy. What is iPod to them? Nothing. What is Prada to them? Just a name. What is steak to them? Just another piece of meat that could keep them filled up. These kept me ponder too. Thou I'll still enjoy the existence of these creations.

Apart of that, stories that came into my ears these days. I wonder, why struggle? Why hate? Why sad? Hmm...

One of it happened to be something to do with my past. It is happening on someone else now. Thou up to this moment I still can't get an answer if it did happen. I pity you. From the bottom of my heart.

It's almost 3 in the morning now. I guess I should hit the bed like soon soon. I don't want my face to look like a zombie and interviews started to schedule in. Till then, stay tune for more pictures of the Incredible India on my Facebook. Adios~

The Terminal II

2011-11-20T10:19:00.001+11:00

I just reached Kuala Lumpur airport about 3 days ago. Yes! KUALA LUMPUR INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. I'm waiting for Christina Thong to pick me up. ><" Well. It's pretty early thou but yea. I'm back! (Unwillingly) I could have been still sleeping on my cozy bed now wrapping myself in my warm quilt with Smoochie running over me and jumping here and there making all sorts of noise.

I came back and didn't really stay and off I go to Singapore already. For trip of course. With a purpose, which is to attend a wedding. Joan and Joshua's wedding. I spend 2 nights in Singapore with jia and we went to the tourist places. It was fun. I haven't met my very best friend since I left. It's great we always go for trip together.

Since I came back, I tend to have the sense of insecurity and lostness. Don't know what to do, where to go...etc. It's frustrating. Besides that, the emptiness is getting on my nerve. I'm homesick. I miss my friends, I miss my cat, I miss my job, I miss my bed, I miss the weather, I miss the place, I miss the people. I'm looking forward to go back, look forward to meet all the people. I'll be back, I'm sure I'll be back.

The Terminal

2011-11-13T04:28:00.002+11:00

It reminds me of the movie by Tom Hanks.

Party through the night with all my friends was awesome despite the part that I was really gloomy and doomed whole night. Sorry peeps. ><" I only had a 4 hours sleep the night before at Ronald's place. After party was followed by the usual supper session while happened to be the worst supper I had not because of the food but who I met. Boo~ Went back with cow to Club 1202 again since Ronald is not around. ( Thanks for your accommodation, =P) I quickly showered and I shall meet Debbie at Southern Cross at 5.30am. Phew~ I'm lucky enough to have a 15 minutes power nap.

We flew all the way to Sydney. For one reason- Kpop Fest Concert. Everyone wondered if I'm really into Kpop. I thought I wasn't, instead I realized I am. Singing with all the songs, screaming my lungs out when my favorite artist doing their performance.

Reaching Sydney that early, of course we did travel around to look at this city. Well, it's the second time I came here. I didn't like it here, neither did she. Probably Melbourne had spoiled us too much and made us what we've become now. Critical. I mean difficult. LOL. We went to those "Tourist-must-go" spots for a look since Debbie hasn't been here before. Finding the public transport is really sucky. This is just personal comment, not a represent of the rest of the world. Well, the concert was awesome die. Watching 12 group of Korean artists performing is definitely an experience. Kara and SNSD definitely rocked the party! Thank you Debbie. :D

After concert, we didn't book a hotel or stayed over at any friend's place. Instead we waited at the terminal. And we even got shooed off because the terminal is closing. We have to make a move to the Maccas 10 mins walk away and took a 3 hours nap over there like everyone else did. That was seriously one hell of an experience. And we are now waiting at the terminal for our flight back to Melbourne again.

Nothing like Tom Hanks happened. Boo~

"totally in vain."

Addiction

2011-11-10T10:10:00.000+11:00

I was thinking about this whole day. I've been here in Melbourne for almost 2 years. I've seen people. I met different people from every part of the world everyday. Sometimes I think it is really one of the very important factors that made me who I am now. An environment can shape a person. I'm shaped.

I think I've changed. In many sense. Physically, mentally, emotionally and even my appearance. Well, everyone does change. But it depends how much you changed. I believed anyone who knows me would say, I've totally changed. In every way. I'm sure this is something good. Melbourne widen my eyes. Now I see my life, my world my future in a total different perspective from what I thought it was before I came here. I even changed my life value, or perhaps principle of life.

A lot of things, you just can't be bothered. Especially when it's none of your business. Just keep your mouth shut and keep out of trouble. No point getting involve with something that is not what you should bother about.

Something that, everyone take it very seriously. To me, it is not really anything really should be taken seriously. Instead it depends on what do you think. It's not like the whole world think the same way while some people might it is something very important and serious.

What have I become? Materialistic? Realistic? Selfish? Perhaps I would say I love myself more and more these days. Everyone should. It's not selfishness but it is something everyone should do before they start loving or caring anyone else. This is something really basic.

I love the freedom I own here. I love it. To the extent perhaps some people would say I abused my freedom. How abusive can that be when I'm doing something that I like but do not harm anybody else? I'm confused sometimes.

"You won't stop and you can't stop when you're addicted to it. You'll just keep doing it all over again even when you said you hate it so much. You'll just go on and on and on and on."

Boy, Please. ♥

2011-11-04T14:24:00.000+11:00

Everytime when I hear this song, it reminds me of a period of time where I think sisterhood is the most precious assets I've got. Thank you all of you who went through it with me. I'm grateful. You girls are the best thing God have gave me up till now. ♥

"After getting drunk, I cried
Waiting for you in front of your house
The fire inside the house
Seeing you with him, it's hard to breathe
Focus your eyes on her, kissed her
Holding her to fall asleep
I really hate you
I bite my lips, swallowed the tears
Standing here like a crazy girl

I wish it was only you
Forever it's you
Tears fall, sitting here hesitating to call you
I call
I just don't get it, get it
Why don't you get it, get it
Please don't laugh looking at that person
Please don't kiss that person
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar
and a killer

If I close my eyes Baby
I still think you're by my side
Your breath, your love, inside of me
I will get away from your hold
Rain will wash away the separation
The memories I want to erase
To somewhere far into the darkness
Taking along the tears of pain

I wish it was only you
Forever it's you
Tears fall, sitting here hesitating to call you
I call
I just don't get it, get it
Why don't you get it, get it
Please don't laugh looking at that person
Please don't kiss that person
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar
and a killer

The cigarette smoke between
You can go
It carved deeper in me
I cannot forget you
Oh Boy

Come back to me again

Screaming like crazy, I love you only
It was wrong sending you away
I regret and I wish
I wish
I just don't get it, get it
Why can't you get it, get it
Please don't hold that person in your arms
Please don't love that person
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar
and a killer
Oh Baby, I need you
You took my love
and killed it boy
You took my love
You took my love
and killed it boy
You took my love
and killed it boy
Don't do it
You took my love
and killed it boy
Why my heart cries
Oh Boy, (It's) like you killed me
You took my love
and killed it girl
Baby you killed it
Please don't leave me"

You girls know who you are. We cried, we laughed, we played, we fooled around. Those were the prettiest memories I had.

Happy Birthday to Me

2011-10-24T00:15:00.000+11:00

心一跳，心就開始煎熬〜

No no, this post is not gonna be emo. Because this post would be all about my birthday. Before I start, I wanted to say, none of my wish came through. However, I'm still happy and grateful. =)

Well I should start with my birthday eve. It's the 2nd day of Ronald's birthday thou. He invited some of his close friends to a dinner at Heirloom, a French and Japanese fusion fine dine restaurant. Of course I'm invited, otherwise why would I be writing this now? Silly. It's an eight courses dinner. We had much laughter with the present of everyone, it seems like a gathering than a birthday celebration.

After dinner, follow-up by the usual stuff. Of course it's clubbing. Ronald's booked the entire VIP lounge in Alumbra. The night was just awesome. Nothing better to describe but awesome. But the worst thing was me and Hayze have to walk this drunkard all the way back to King. Hmm... Well, it's a favor for the birthday boy. =P You owe me one. Nyahahaha!!! But, I'll make sure I never do this again. Walking back is a pain in ass. ><" No more. No more. Anyway, it was still a good night. A good good night. Besides the part about I puked in the club for the first time and luckily I didn't got kicked out. Phew~

Cassey called the next morning while I'm still nuaing in bed which I barely sleep that night. Cassey and the gang is bringing me to somewhere. Somewhere for some extreme sport- Water Rafting! I'm quite excited at the same time I'm anxious when I first heard about it because I'm not a swimmer. ><" Anyway, me, Cassey and Soon went up to Mansfield first. Kenyo, Mark and Mei Shi went after. We spent a night in Mansfield with steamboat and card game. Of course, it comes with a birthday cake surprise too. It was the only birthday cake I had this year. =)

Unfortunately, the activity was cut-off because the water level is not high enough. =( Well, I'm still happy about the trip. Really happy. Anyway, thank you guys. Love you all much. Muacks muacks muacks.

Finally, I would like to thanks each and everyone who remembered my birthday. While to those who don't remember, well, it shows how long we've gone. Cheers.

Oh ya! Talking about pressie. I'm very delighted about it. Haha!!! Thou, none of them are on my wishlist. But I'm grateful.

"YOU owe me. Because you never gave me a birthday pressie. Not even last year."

I Love You All

2011-10-09T05:25:00.001+11:00

It's 5am in the morning now. I just came back from another awesome night out with those who I really call them friend. They not only play with me, laugh with me, but they also gone through some difficult moments with me. when I'm down, when I met a difficult time, they are the one who made me smile and feel alive again. I'm grateful that my last year here in melbourne, I met them. These will be the most precious memories with me for my entire life. Thank you.

These are the memories that I'll being back with me and only we know how it's like.

I know, I'm being sentimental here. But this is what I wanna say to all my good friends.

Chaplin, our place. I wish, one day in the future, maybe 20 years or 40 years later, we'll still remember each other.

Perhaps some people will say these are just season friend, but season friend like them is something I'll treasure. I love them all. If you guys happen to read this, you know who you are. I love you all.

"I'm wet!!!" =P

New Start

2011-10-08T02:29:00.000+11:00

I just got a meow at home. I mean here in Melbourne. =) Thou it's not like what I wanted, which is a snow white munchkin. But it is just so adorable. Of course her name is not like what I wanted as well. But I named her. Her name is Smoochie.

noun

a kiss or a spell of amorous kissing and cuddling.

I love kiss and cuddle, very much. Which, I hope she is as cuddly and loveable pet she will be. She will be living with Debbie here in Melbourne.

I applied for an internship program with a world renowned Marketing company in the States. In New Yoke to be exact. Some part of me wish I could get through and get a job there. At least for 6 months. It will be a remarkable experience. I'm sure it will be. But some part of me wish I couldn't, at least I don't have to think about the money part again and leave Malaysia again.

I always think about my future, everything is about my future. I'm a really selfish person. I know it. People said, life is not just about work. There are many more, family, friends and etc. But, now, I just want what is best for myself. Maybe I could live a life there, perhaps. I would still wanna try. I wanna give it a shot. Even if others disagree with me. I'll sort it out. I'm sure I could. I hope I could.

"Don't hurt her(me), anymore."

If You're Not Looking For Love, It'll Look For You

2011-10-04T16:48:00.000+11:00

"This doesn't normally happen to me. I'd describe myself as an average guy, cute, tall and skinny. Average. I've been called cute but by people that I didn't take seriously. I was so surprised when she messaged me. She wanted to hang out with me! We met briefly through work and made light conversation. But, there was something about me that she liked. I was so nervous for our first date. I was a mess. But sitting in her car I relaxed and conversation just flowed. It was so easy with her. I could be myself and not worry about how dorky I looked when I laughed or how uncoordinated I am. She loved every bit of me. I soaked it all in. Every time I get a text or thought about her my stomach would get all funny, like there were butterflies where organs should be. When she told me he had to go, I didn't know what to do. It's not like I fell in love with her after that short amount of time. But I was definitely in like with her. I can tell she's thinking about me when she texts me first or in the middle of the night. I get a goofy grin whenever I text her. If I didn't know any better I'd say I'm falling in love with her. She knows it too. I can't wait until she comes back :) This truly doesn't happen to me. But it did when I least expected it, if you're not looking for love, it'll look for you."

I Had A Dream

2011-10-03T23:35:00.001+11:00

I don't know why would I even dream about such thing. It's so ridiculous. Or perhaps deep down I wish it would happen. But, someone did this to me, doesn't mean I have to do this to them right? I would never do anything like this. But I believe, if it's meant to be, it will be.

I was watching Grey's Anatomy and come to realize I should have treasure what I have now. I'm really gifted. Thank god I have so many beautiful people and beautiful things around me.

" I heard your prayer. I'm blessed and loved."

Least Expectation, Least Disappointment

2011-10-02T15:43:00.005+11:00

My EQ needs to be elevated. I need to practice my EQ. I think my EQ is not high enough. Thou, I'm way better than a lot of people, but there're also a lot of people mastered it better than me. About work, about life, about interacting with people. Sometimes, I think I shouldn't take things so seriously. A word, a sentence someone said got to me so badly. Perhaps they are just kidding or it's nothing serious.

I've been very patient all the time. Perhaps not to some people. (ps. I'll rawr to you because I trust you that you won't get angry and mad of me. Hehe =P) anyway, people tend to get you mad, annoys you, or even irritates you. Why should it matters? If it doesn't hurt you physically, it won't harm you if your mentally strong and optimistic.

Many people said I'm pessimistic all the time. Because I've been taught to be prepare for the worst. But what I need to learn now would probably be to just let it be. What ever will be, will be. Stop worrying about what the future holds. Wait! I thought I left everything to god about the future? Why should I een worry? lol How silly of me.

Well, my birthday. Yea, it is my birthday. I thought I didn't want anyone to make a big deal. But I'll get upset when no one give a damn about it. I'm just ambivalent. It is not just my birthday, but Ronald's fall on 2 days before mine. Then, should I give a damn? Probably there'll be a big party for him. Well, I only wish for a dinner with friends. A nice dinner. Perhaps with some pressie as well. I always love pressie. I never deny that. But, i shouldn't expect too much. Right? Just wait and see.

But I still have a short wishlist here:
1. A munchkin.
2. A trip with spa to Avillion again.
3. A handmade pressie.
4. Leica D-Lux 5.
5. Prada Lux Saffiano leather bag with Snap Lock, Cameo color.

Hmm... I'll add on soon I guess. Nyahahaha!!!

I'm not expecting thou. =)

"I pray that, you could be healthy and it will never return. =)"

因为爱情 Because of Love ♥

2011-09-21T02:04:00.000+10:00

给你一张过去的CD
听听那时我们的爱情
有时会突然忘了我还在爱着你

再唱不出那样的歌曲
听到都会红着脸躲避
虽然会经常忘了我依然爱着你

因为爱情不会轻易悲伤
所以一切都是幸福的模样
因为爱情简单的生长
依然随时可以为你疯狂

因为爱情怎么会有沧桑
所以我们还是年轻的模样
因为爱情在那个地方
依然还有人在那里游荡人来人往

再唱不出那样的歌曲
听到都会红着脸躲避
虽然会经常忘了我依然爱着你

因为爱情不会轻易悲伤
所以一切都是幸福的模样
因为爱情简单的生长
依然随时可以为你疯狂

因为爱情怎么会有沧桑
所以我们还是年轻的模样
因为爱情在那个地方
依然还有人在那里游荡人来人往

给你一张过去的CD
听听那时我们的爱情
有时会突然忘了我还在爱着你

What is love? Where is love? Who is love? When is love? How is love?

Questions questions and questions. Love should be fearless. Love should be selfless. Love is between two hearts. Just two.

2011-09-21T02:00:00.001+10:00

L.I.L.Y

I Wanna Be a Queen ♥

2011-09-09T13:40:00.002+10:00

I wrote a post like this on FB: "I should feel like a Princess because I am one according to them. But, I wanna be a Queen!"

This one actually requires elaborations.
I've been receiving so many pressie lately. From someone, from myself, from him, from her, from everyone.

I love getting presents.

I love getting surprise too. This is good surprise, I'm happy. Really happy. about it. Very. I bet you know what I've got. Haha. A beats, the Lady Gaga in-ear Heartbeats. They look like diamonds. They are just so lovely. I was surprised receiving it. Because it was totally unexpected. I like it very much. This is what I really call a surprise. I'm delighted. Very much.

Thank you for pampering me. I really feel like a princess. I should be right? :D

Besides, due to days of unhappy incidents and people around me that irritates me, I've decided to pamper myself with SHOPPING. Yes! I bought loads of things past two weeks, and I spent chunk! Of course things for myself and for people around me that I treasure. Now I know who is worth appreciating and who is not. I know very well now.

Well. Shopping continues next week on my paycheck day. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm so gonna get killed. =P

I love all my new babies ♥ My Baby MBMJ, MBMJ Jr, MBMJ Jr Jr. Oh! And not forgetting my Baby P. Ngek ngek!!

Sister also got a B. XD

Hope

2011-08-26T02:17:00.000+10:00

Today...

It's another one an a half months.

Beautiful Brunch
Lovely High Tea
Wonderful Dinner
Party with beloved friends

That One Person That I Love

2011-08-12T19:28:00.001+10:00

I didn't realize it was 3 years ago until I check my old post. I was still in UCSI, doing my 1st year of degree. I was a happy girl. But just restless because I've always got so much to do. I have to rush home before 9pm if there's no one. I always have to do so much before I go to class even when I'm at home. But I'm happy that I did so much. I'm thankful that I have the chance to do so much.

When I was in kindy, I hate it when I have to walk home myself after the school bus drop me at the junction. When I was in primary school, I love it when I'm sick. I love my recess because I got to eat some really nice lunch but not just bread. Sometimes, I have this love hate feeling towards what I have in the day. Well, what I miss the most was the congee with lots of vege in it. Spinach, carrot, and more. Oh! And clam as well. =) When I was in secondary school, I always go home late. Because I've always got so much activity in school. Clubs, Society, Practice, Competitions and so and so. After school, I'll have tuition and sometimes I gallivant with my best friend. But in the end, I'm always upset when I gets home and start yelling. ><" When I was in Uni, things changed. Changed so much. I know my responsibility. I know what I should do and what is right to do. I brought up well. I'm glad. All thanks to this person that I have all my senses and all that I need to know about the world. This person is my grandmother. Tan Kwee Eng.

She passed away 3 years ago on this day, 3 years ago. I was relieved, because she got out of pain and sorrow.

I just thought about something funny that happened with her. 3 years ago, it was Malaysia's general election. She refused to vote. I asked her why, she just said she don't want to. I kept asking why, then she asked, "When I come out of the voting room, how am I gonna find you?" I burst out laugh, I said," Popo, we're gonna find you. We will never leave you alone. Or were you thinking that we might throw you away? Silly." Me and my sister can't stop laughing. She read too much about old folks being left on the streets or some places. That will never happen to her. Ever. She is just so adorable.

I miss her. I've got so much to tell her. I've got so much to talk to her about.

Once I asked:

"Can you just stay with me a little
bit longer?
Just a little bit longer so that you can see me graduate from University.
Just a little bit longer so that you can see me fall in love with the greatest guy.
Just a little bit longer so that you can see me married to the one I love the most.
Just a little bit longer so that you can see me give birth to my first child."

"I miss you. Popo. Hope you're doing well there. I love you. Forever."

If You Ever Gonna Read This

2011-08-07T07:28:00.001+10:00

I have changed perhaps, according to many people. Maybe I have. But after all, I'm just wanting something more in my life. Is that wrong? I wish I have more, a little bit more. But when I get what I want, people said I want too much and it is not what I deserve. Once I lost everything, literally everything. But when I'm back on track, I lost balance. I lost the balance of being a friend of theirs and a friend of the others. I could have be like what they want me and expect me to be. But I can't. I can't help to be like that. Someone dragged me into this. It shouldn't be this messy. YOU! You dragged me in, and you push everyone away, and now you want all of them by yourself. You are selfish and mean. I could have been better maybe to just stay ordinary, but you told me I could be different. Live better and be treated better. Well, after all I'm best to be ordinary, stick with what I have and what I can afford. I can't afford to be the way I was anymore. I feel sorry to myself. Sorry to everyone, except you. You're to blame. Like everyone said. I hate you, from now on. I hate you, from the bottom of my heart. Goodbye.

Parents and Companies in OZ

2011-08-07T07:19:00.000+10:00

Finally, I'm officially graduated. I'm out of UNI. But might get into it all over again soon. Haha. Anyway, parents and companies came to Melbourne for my convocation. I'm really happy about it actually. Since I haven't seen my parents for some time. They are still like the old them, never change. I think it is really true about human that you never change after a certain time of period or age. It will not change, including habit, attitude, perception and etc. We traveled around, whole family together. Around Melbourne, Sydney and of course Perth. Overall was alright except some part where the old folks nag and behave like "how they used to be". Yea, I were saying we went to cities to visit. I like the places where I could live out of what I have to face later on. Human's fact face and reality.

Well, Sydney was just alright. We walked and walked and walked so much that my feet has blister. The pain was, urgh~ ><" The weather was so so hot that I thought it's Summer already. But well, the fact that it's still winter =( Sydney is not a place that I wish to stay thou it's also another city. Well, it just turned me off some part.

We went to Perth and we have our host and tour guide, June and Rod. Mummy's friend from the old days back in EMI. The brought us around, eating and touring Perth. It wasn't a big city but it's beautiful in it's own way. This place is quiet. But well, I can't imagine myself living in this place. Or perhaps I could the older days, but I don't know about now.

Anyway, I'm on my way now back to Melbourne. Wish me luck there. I wish I have more luck. Really hope so.

Gold Coast and Brisbane Getaway

2011-07-27T01:21:00.000+10:00

Well, again, I should have blog this a week ago since I came back from Queensland for almost a week already.

This is one of the trips that I spent the most in my life. In Ringgit I mean. Well, it wasn't that bad in terms of AUD. LOL. We should've just spend $179 for our flight only, instead we spent $379 for it just because of the stupid and not trustworthy Tiger Airway got suspended till end of July. We got to get another flight back from Brisbane, which cost us 3 times more expensive than what we bought previously. Screw them!!!

Anyway, the trip started with Surfers Paradise. Well, it does has a lot of surfers over there. But I didn't really get to go to the beach at all. XD. Of course, coming to Gold Coast you have to go to Theme Park and Worlds. We did went to Sea World and Movie World. Rides, rides ,rides and shows, shows, shows. Apart of these typical activity, we had the best steak I've ate so far in Australia.

We drove to Brisbane. It wasn't a long journey thou. Shorter than me going to Ipoh from KL. Just in case you need to estimate the distance. Or even shorter than going to Geelong from Melbourne. Short enough? Well, I finally get to drive a car in Australia. Hahaha!!! Anyway, Brisbane wasn't that fun after all. It's just another city. Nothing special thou. Well it was a good trip besides Brisbane seriously has a problem with it's town planning. Especially it's road. Gave us so much problem. ><" Well, I don't think I wanna go back to Brisbane again. It's too dead, I mean quiet.

To see what we did in Queensland? Check out my Facebook of course. =)

Papa and mama is coming to Melbourne soon. More trips and more travels. Ngek ngek!!

Well, I can see what I'm gonna write in my next post dy. On the way. I know I know, I rant too much lately. = 3=

Road That I'd Take

2011-07-25T17:30:00.001+10:00

Why did I insist I would write this entry? I don't know why either. But I just feel like this is something that I have to put it in somewhere. If you don't feel like reading it, just tap on the "X" mark top right, in case you're a Mac user, tab on the "X" top left. Otherwise, bare with me. I wonder if I should really blog about it. Hmm...

Over the month, too many good things happened to me as well as bad. Sometimes it feels like fairy tale or perhaps they were dreams. In the end, I'll still have to wake up. The feeling came back, once again. It's like the bond between me with people is so fragile that it might break anytime. I just feel like I'm so alone. Sometimes, don't even know who to go to. It's not that I don't have friends. I do. I have a lot of friends. But, at this moment, no matter what I do, I'm afraid it might affect the friendship and it will be gone forever. Therefore, I'm reluctant to move or even do anything. It's like no matter what I do it's not right. Not right at all. I don't know what to do.

People are not like what I used to think they are anymore. People are now more complicated, far more complicated than I've ever thought. Feeling tells.

Apart of that, my life is a mess. Big mess. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know where I'm gonna be. I'm lost. Once again. My relationship, friendship, life, career, study, everything is so messed up. Seriously. I don't know if I should stay. I don't know if anyone wants me to stay. I don't know where I belong. I belong no where perhaps. This is so terrifying. It's scaring me so much.

Anyway, I might be leaving the country in two months time. I wonder how would it like for me to go through these two months. Well, I do have a choice. The choice that I'm reluctant to take is to continue study by spending more and more money from my family to stay here. I couldn't be selfish. My parents are getting old, my sister needs to live a life. A life of her own without have to worry about me.I wonder, how far can I go with my qualification now. I doubt it. Perhaps, I shall consider about continuing. But I doubtmy ability to study too. Anyway, life is full of choices. Too many choices that I'm afraid to take.I used to regret about what I didn't take, now I'm afraid I'd be scared by what I've take.

No one could help me, like one of my mentor always say. I shall take a serious consideration and think about what I should do, not affect by anyone, anything. I need a peace of mind.

I'll have update about my GC trip later. Till then. さよなら~

Sotong-ness

2011-06-26T23:40:00.012+10:00

Woke up in the morning, had my light breakkie prepared by Ronald before he left for work and I'll be waiting for JY to come back from work. Fell asleep while waiting. JY came back and we were planning to go lunch with Lionel and Karen since Lionel is coming over to pick up his house spare key. When Lionel shove down his car window, shucks! He can't get the window up. Went back to his place and we still can't get it fix. Need some tools. Me and JY walked to Autobarn near by with my heels. ><" Well, I fell couple of times. But not that embarrassing. Anyway, the tools we got could not be used. We all went back to the shop again. Bought second box of it still couldn't be use. Oh, and JY was so blur, he didn't bring his wallet. They still can't get the window fix, no choice but to wait until the next day because it was a Sunday. Then Lionel send us back to King. The best thing was, we haven't had anything since 2pm and it was suppose to be my lunch with them and end up nothing go into my stomach. ><" When we reach 1202, then only I realize I left my wallet in Lionel's car. Doossh~ How blur both of us.

We went for dinner after that. I think that was the most wonderful thing ever happened that night. We went to Guhng. Dinner was fantastic. The wagyu is so awesome, add up with some cold noodle and a kimchi hotpot. Yum yum yum~ I had dessert as well, it was green tea ice cream with tempered chocolate. Heaven~ I had fun. Thanks to my Sotong.

We couldn't be blur more than ever. Best PIC. ♥

For you, V

2011-06-11T23:34:00.000+10:00

I know you're reading this. Or perhaps I'm being a bit perasan. But yea. I'm not angry or mad at all. I'm so happy, seriously. You guys are made for each other. She deserve someone like you. Wish you happiness and live happily ever after. Better watch your back.

Cheers,
Ly

"What goes around, comes around."

Once Upon A Time

2011-06-11T23:28:00.000+10:00

Ever since that day. I already forget what is it like to be indulge in somebody's arm being pampered. I already forget what is it like to be somebody's something. I already forget what is it like being love and adore. I already forget what is it like to be with you. I even forget what is it like to be in love.

As much as I want to live an ordinary life, I find myself couldn't escape the fact that life is dramatic and cruel. I learned to be on my own, I learned to weigh my friends more, I learned to be happy by myself, I learned to trust myself. This is a lesson of life.

Apart of that, I've seen faces. Like hypocrites, which I find it amusing when they are talking to me. Seriously hillarious. When you're telling too much lies, there's consequences. Which end up to be called a hypocrite, liar, or cheater. LOL. Well, I also realise, people usually gets along with people who are similar. What I'm saying is, hypocrite will always get another hypocrite. And they will live happily ever after. Sounds like a fairytale for them. Are they really gonna be happy living behind a mask? Or you can only be true in that way? I ponder. At least I can't. Truth is truth, you can't only believe what you want it to be true. So, get a life. Oh, you guys are having a life, perhaps. I could never live in it. Haha.

Cut the crap. What I need now, is a job. So that, I can support my own living and continue stay here. Another issue is, I needs to decide what I want to do after this. A Law degree? Or a Master in Communication? Hard choice. Anyway, I'm taking a Japanese language course next month onwards. Wishing that, I could go to Japan one day. Near future if possible. Well, I'm planning for a vacation end of the year. Actually I'm living a life nothing different from a holiday. No aims, no objective, no target, nothing. But, plenty of stuff to sort out. I'll sort it out soon. Very soon. Tell you guys more soon.

Before that, let me tell you a story:

"Mr Hypocrite and Mrs Hypocrite finally have their fairytale came true. Poor Mr Hypocite W, can't get what he want. Finally they have a new company, Mr Hypocrite F. And they live happily ever after. The End~"

Love Life

2011-06-01T16:21:00.005+10:00

I've been lazy and procrastinating. About what? Assignments. Well, I've been lazy and not blogging too. It's been like that since I went back to Malaysia I guess. Sorry peeps. Sorry to those who read to keep update about me.

I think this will be a very very very very long post, since I'm gonna write everything that is going on with me lately. Anyway, there are so much to talk about here. About life, love, friends, career, study, family and etc. Too much. Where should I start?

Well, I shall start with study. This is my last semester apparently, but I'm still not ready to face the world yet. Don't really know what I want to do or what should I do after that. I don't see a reason for me to be back at the moment. But I have tonnes of reasons to stay here. I shall keep this to myself. =P Anyway, Law exam is just a week away. But I feel like I totally let go of everything about study since the day I hand in my last project/ assignment in my life. Well, I shall get motivated and fight for the last war in my life with study. Here I come!

I've been having so so much problems with friend lately. Which I don't know why. Even the reason we fight is kinda ridiculous. I always treasure my friends, as much as I treasure my family. Or perhaps more. Anyway, my pet brother Ah Kean, he just won a short film competition. It's 1st prize. Let me share with you his award winning work- < Table > by Gan Seng Kean

You know, I always dream about having my own cafe in a busy city, but this cafe will be at a corner or maybe an alley with nice coffee and sweets, playing Bossa Nova or Jazz, with cozy seats and nice waitress around. That is something I want to do in the future. I'll make each and every cup of the coffee. Well, those are just dream.

Till then, I hope I'll pass all my subjects and graduate in time. Really have to cross all my fingers and toes or even cross my hair. ><"

Life has been treating me so well that I thank God for giving me such a beautiful life. I've been treated like a princess yesterday. Went to brunch with a few friends, thou the brunch wasn't that nice because I've tried something even better. But the environment and the place was fantastic, especially my company. They are even awesome. Me and Cassey were suppose to go to the office to hand in our time sheet and the same time we were so prepared to be screwed by the manager, it turns out we have missed the manager that he's out. How lucky we are. :D Then head to city to meet the boys and went driving range. It was fun except the part Cow's club is broken. Aww~ Poorthing. Then both of us were so well treated as if we're the princess. We had dinner at their house. We just sat there and wait for dinner, in the mean time there's someone to put on blanket for us, pour our tea, give us treat in case we're hungry and make us dinner. They were so attentive. It's so sweet of them both. They certainly made my day. Love them all so much. ♥ Talking about the dinner. It's almost Gourmet dinner, except we are not wear dress and tux. For some pictures of my company and day? Check out my facebook of course. It was certainly a real Random and Lovely day. I'm loving it.

Just a snippet of the pic for your sensitive taste bud. =P

Now now, I should really come back to reality and start eating some notes and book. Hope I can remember them all by just doing this. ><" Toodles~

The Royal Wedding

2011-05-04T00:00:00.001+10:00

Everyone had been talking about it for the past two days. Prince William and Catherine Middleton's wedding, The Royal Wedding. Everyone had been in the mood of "fairy tale", "princess dream come true" and fantasies status. Everyone is fantasizing a prince on the white horse in real life. But the wedding is nothing like that. It wasn't my fairy anyway. I don't like the dress, I don't like the setting of the wedding, it is kinda ordinary to me. Well, I prefer Princess Diana's dress more. Anyway, the wedding was a massive event that Youtube has live telecast. Well, I watched half way and turned it off cause it's kinda boring. But I do enjoy the songs on Youtube for this massive event.

Well, I have my own version of "fairy tale", "dream come true" fantasy about my future wedding. But it wouldn't be real unless I met my PRINCE.

Oh! About the one who was once with me for, 9 months? We are officially apart. I mean we broke up. Anyway, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be living without one person's present. Well, he wasn't really here physically anyway. So it was more to a virtual and mental kinda relationship after all. Or perhaps, we are more like summer love. I am not complaining but it is something to me thou. Really.

Back to my fantasy. I always wanted a garden wedding. A garden wedding in Guam with sea view and with me wearing a vintage wedding dress and my groom a vintage suit. Entering the place with horse carriage or a vintage car. I wish there's just me and my groom, our family and a few close friends. The ceremony is held by a priest asking:

"Do you take Lily Thong for your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

And he shall reply with "I do" followed by the vow:

"I take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth."

A light peck on the lips along with the music of violin and piano. Everyone held a round of applause and best wishes to us.

Followed by a garden party with me and the groom having the first dance of the night. ♥

Well well well, I'm really fantasizing. Anyway, a Dream Come True song to share here.

This is Life

2011-04-28T00:04:00.000+10:00

It's not about the money money money~

Money can't buy us happiness~

This is not a post about money. Well, it's more about life. Life is a serious matter. You only live one time. You only do things one time, even if you do it again, it wouldn't be the same either because it is already a different time. So, you gotta be responsible to what you did, what you said, and the way you act. Everything has it's consequences. That is also why Karma exist. Everything you do, is not just gonna affect yourself, but also people around you. Not just physically but also mentally, at worst it will also affects people and yourself for life. A matured person should always be aware of what you are doing.

Besides that, being a matured person is influence by the people around you. You might think that you're grown up and thinking maturely, but, you won't realize even if you are childish because that is what you think you are right at that moment when you did something. Maybe saying this and writing this, somebody may call me childish as well. But well. At least I face the fact and not live in denial and thought everything will be alright by not facing it. Get it the hard way is better than not acknowledging the facts.

"Life is not a joke. You gotta be responsible to how you act, what you did, and what you said."

Spend Spend Spend!!!

2011-04-23T22:09:00.000+10:00

I'm being ~~sexual~~ abused, by paintballs. Rawr!!! Bruises everywhere!!! I presume I can wear my shorts or dress in 2 weeks time. They are just so ugly. But compare to what I had a year ago on my thigh, these are nothing, besides the quantity is higher. =P

Easter holiday started. My massive expenditure started too. I've been spending so so so so much while I'm low in income. LOL. Well, I still maintained but just low. Should start saving up for Paragliding, skydiving, Gold Coast trip... etc. Gosh! Too much!!! >.< But it's my last year in Kangarooland, what to do?

I've been back for only two months, but I did so much that I am enjoying my life here so much (except some depressing parts). I went to Mornington Peninsula, Sorrento Dolphin Swim, Disney Exhibition, nice dinner, Paintball, etc. I just love my friends here so much. ♥

Here's some pictures for your eyes.

I've got more and more picture of cause. Go to Facebook la ~~diu.~~ =P

Lost But Not Found

2011-04-18T23:51:00.000+10:00

After being happy for getting back my anklet, life is not always being happy and fortunate. This time I lost my baby. Yes, I lost my baby. What I meant was my baby camera. My very first self-bought camera. I can't believe I lost it. Like I said previously, it's gone and it's forever. It's been disturbing me for a few days. It's my very precious thing.

It's been like that lately. One gone missing and follow by another. It sucks. Especially when the feeling of it will be gone forever and not seeing it ever again strikes. It's been really frequent lately. That feeling really sucks!

What happen that day was, I was suppose to bring it out, and I left it at home. It's like a sign. But I went back for it, because I thought it would be an memorable event to take picture. I brought it along. Was taking pictures in Kenyo's, having fun. Took a cab. I was the last to get down. The last time I remember was, I wasn't holding it anymore.

That night, I was feeling so so so miserable. Not knowing where did I misplaced it. The next morning, the first thing I did was call all the cab company in Melbourne. Trying my luck. Next thing is I walked to the police station and lodge a police report.

"Some things, you will just lose it forever. No matter how hard you tried to keep it."

Lost & Found

2011-04-10T16:44:00.000+10:00

Friday was really funny. I got my anklet back from KL since Debbie was back 5 days ago. She brought it back to me, fixed. I was more than happy to have it back. I was looking at it and checking the broken part if it's fixed properly. Then the next thing I remember was me looking at Debbie's new bought ring and bracelet. After that I pack up, put away the book on my bed and threw away rubbish.

After 3 days, I was looking into my jewelry box admiring what I have inside. I finally realize my lil anklet is not there. That gets me really anxious and scared. I looked all around the drawer and inside the box, but I still can't find it anywhere near. I start searching all over the room. I sat on The floor and started to tears. Im really sad at that time. Losing something that i treasure so so much. Suddenly I thought about Debbie cleaning the room that day and she vacuumed and threw the rubbish. I went out start searching in the big trash bin for the bag of trash she threw away that day. I looked inside, it wasn't there. Talk about disappointment and desperation, I even open up the vacuum cleaner and took out the dust bag. It wasn't in there either. It was really disappointing and heart breaking. I took out the bag of dust to the bug trash bin. My instinct told me it should be somewhere near waiting for me to pick it up. I put away the dust and starting looking into the bag of trash Debbie threw away again. It was there. It's really there. I was shivering the moment when I thought I'll never have it back again, just like what is gone.

"Hope? I'll give it a pass and just wait and see what the future holds for me. =)"

Cheers

2011-03-26T13:41:00.000+11:00

Today is the last day. It's deadline. Would it be a new start or it would just varnish into the air like it never happened. I don't know. I'm hanging here. I made up my mind long time ago, but the decision had been interrupted so many times. So so many times. I'm forced to change, forced to adapt. I don't know how long more can I adapt with it, how long more can I take those punch in my heart again and again. I wish all can come to an end. Maybe start with another form or perhaps never ever again. I need a getaway. I need a way out. I might be a loser, writing this here now. They will be laughing all the way happily seeing this. But well, if your happiness is built with my sorrow, then have fun. I'm doing charity and I will go to heaven. ♥

As in you, whether you read this or not. I still stick to the words I gave you, but...

"I never wanna see you cry cry cry, and I never wanna tell a lie lie lie~ ♥"

They

2011-03-17T00:50:00.000+11:00

They started as friend. He is her boyfriend's best friend. He is the worst person ever to fall in love with. They fight, they scheme each other, they quarrel. Even before they were, friend.

They finally realize the love within. The love that they both had to each other, is nothing like anyone can understand. The dilemma and struggle in their own. The still hurt and love, non-stop hurting and non-stop putting love in each other.

He love her. Wanna be with her. But there are too many obstacles to overcome. Too many.

She love him. Nobody else but him. She thought everything would be fine if both of them insist.

He gave up on her. She thought he wouldn't change. He turn to somebody else. She thought he is still there. But not anymore, when she see it with her own eyes.

"He love her, no more."

Love

2011-03-14T11:39:00.000+11:00

Seldom blog lately. Possible because I didn't want this part of my life to be recorded here and to be seen at some point. It's been gloomy, hazy and even dark. Stop this emo talk!!!

Class started for 2 weeks already. We've been kinda in phobia at some point. Because it's freaking last semester with 2 Media Projects, 1 Law and 1 Ethics subject. This is like the ultimate semester. Rawr!!! Hope I won't screw it up. *finger crossed*

By the way, my convocation is confirmed. Wonder who's gonna come. I wish those people that I wish they could come will really come. I really wish. But, I know it's not easy. I wish, I could only wish. =)

Japan earthquake happened two days ago. We were all discussing about it. About the death toll, about the cause, about the damage caused, about the whole incident. What we can do now is just pray, we can't be there to help, we can't do anything basically but just pray. Pray that the world would be calm, pray that the world would be safe, pray that our friends and family could be safe.

LOVE & RESPECT

2011-03-03T23:26:00.001+11:00

I came across this article from a Pastor in Facebook. It's one of the best article I've read. Thou I'm not a Christian, but I see the wisdom how Pastor Ma talk about Men, Women, Relationship. Something to share with everyone.

WE NEED MEN OF GOD WHO WILL LOVE & RESPECT WOMEN OF FAITH...NEXT STOP "MANHOOD"

I spent the day with a group of men in our house church learning what it takes to be a man of God when it comes to loving and respecting women. In our day an age most men are not men, they are boys. Most guys still want to marry their mom, have a women serve and take care of them, are not willing to take initiative or commit in a relationship, most men are still living in fear, not pursuing their callings for settling for “safe” because its easy. This is sad, upsetting and the standard must change.

Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men. Women don’t want boys they have to put up with, clean up after and take care of, they want to be lead, pursued and taken on an exciting life adventure. If you go to most of the churches in the Western world today, you will find that there are very few spiritual men, instead there are many spiritual women. It’s disappointing, but I hear it from women of faith all the time, “Pastor Jaeson, where are the godly men?”

Today, a good brother and leader in our GBS community Daniel Ra explained what God showed him to be the “5 Pillars of Manhood” in how men must love, respect and serve women. It was enlightening and reinforcing from what I have been teaching men for years when it comes to pursuing a woman of God… of course none of us are perfect, we all have our mistakes, but we must each strive to be better and greater than what we were before yesterday, everyday making an effort to be more like God, to be just like Jesus, to be a man of faith and honor.

The 5 Pillars of Manhood…

1. Lead - A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take initiative. A man of God is leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero not a coward. A man of God knows God and therefore knows himself. He should be the leader spiritually first, emotionally, mentally and physically he should set the standard for others to follow.

2. Protect - A real man of God will protect his partner. That means he is willing to lay down his very own life, needs and wants for the protection of the one he loves. Every decision he makes when it comes to a relationship has her protection in mind. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is protected and safe with her man. She doesn’t need to second guess, wonder if she will be okay, or have her heart and mind played with. A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart.

3. Provide – A real man of God will do whatever it takes to provide for his significant other. That means monetarily in finances, in basic needs and as well as what she desires. When a man asks a father for his daughter in marriage, the father will not ask, “How are you doing spiritually first?” No, the first thing the father will ask is, “How will you provide for my daughter?” Because part of being and becoming a man is providing for others, especially your wife and children. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. God gave us hands and we must put our hands to work, no excuses to be lazy, God made us to rule the earth. Women are not be treated as toys, trophies or a luxury item, women are God’s highest creation, the very image of God.

I tell men all the time, “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” Don’t be cheap brothers, you need to go all out when it comes to pursuing a woman. This is not a one time thing, but a continual practice. Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care, it is the same with a woman of God, you treat her with the utmost care, honor and respect. Practically, that means you don’t take a woman to Denny’s on a first date, you take her to a place that hurts your wallet, but it’s worth it because she is worthy.

Also, men must also provide for women emotionally. When a women asks you, “How are you doing?” She is really asking, “How are you being?” Meaning, what are you feeling, thinking, seeing, being about at the moment. To love a women we must provide at every level – basic needs all the way to providing for them mentally, emotionally and spiritually, if not their hearts will die. Be a man, provide for your women.

4. Integrity – A true man of God is a man of his word. Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all. This is disgusting. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation. How many men do we know today who say one thing, but do another? Men who do not keep their word, their promise or follow through with their verbal commitments. In our culture we don’t take words seriously, but in God’s world words are everything. Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth. What comes out of our mouths determines what is truly in our hearts.

What a woman wants is a man of integrity. Someone who says what he does and does what he says. Someone they can trust at their word. So as a man you must come through. Words means nothing if they are not backed up with action. Don’t sorry unless you mean it. Don’t say sorry unless you are able to back up your apologies with doing the right thing. Integrity is doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking. Does your woman trust you completely? If not, it is a question of integrity. Don’t tell a women you love her unless your love shows, words carry weight. They either carry false weight or real weight, a woman knows when a man means what he says.

So live by your words, live by action, be a living proof of your values, convictions and commitments. Don’t get involved in a relationship unless you are sure this what you want and what God is leading you both to do. I’ve had my share of mistakes in the past, where I got into a relationship without thinking about the consequences, protecting my sisters heart and the fear of the Lord from the get go, I’ve had to make amends and face the results of my sin and foolishness. Trust me brothers, don’t do what I’ve done in the past, don’t play games, don’t feed your fleshly desires, rather seek God, seek the best interest of the one you are pursuing, be honest, forthright from the start about your commitment and your vision for the relationship and stick to your word. Be a man of integrity.

If you pursue a women, it should be with the intentions of marriage. If not, stop playing yourself and her. It’s not about finding the right woman, it’s about being the right man. That starts with first knowing God in order to know yourself, then you will know how to love and respect a woman.

5) Courage - You are not a man until you climb the great wall of China! This is what it says at the actual great wall. Well, I have climbed the Great Wall of China so I guess I must be more of a man than others, just kidding. What is the greater underlying message here? It is a message of courage. It is a message of adventure. A man of God is a man of courage, a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of great adventure. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties. Men were created to live.

Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them. Many men are just boys waiting for their mother’s approval, or the approval of others in society. Most men I know are people pleasers, not God pleasers. They are more afraid of how others may reject them or not accept them if they choose to take the road less traveled.

All men die, few men truly live.

Women don’t want nice guys or good boys, women want men on a mission, men on adventure, men who are dangerous. This is why many women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys live with a sense of risk, danger, mystery and unknown. Men were created to live fearless and to live by faith. But if you walk into a church today what you find are a bunch of boys playing with their toys, working at predictable jobs, and living boring lives. It’s sad, but most guys get their sense of adventure from playing video games or watching TV, what happened to our men?

A man of faith will sweep a woman of God off of her feet. He will challenge her to go the distance in God, in their relationship and in life. A man of courage is someone who in the face of fear still chooses to move forward with trust in God, setting out to obey God’s voice at whatever the cost, because that is what matters the most. We need men who have hearts fully alive, hearts full of passion and are on a mission to change the world. There is a high cost to being a man of courage, there is a price to pay if we want to be a real hero, it means we are willing to go against the grain, follow God against all odds and live a life of honor, courage and righteousness.

When a woman finds a man of courage, it will encourage her to be all that God has created her to be. As a man, your goal is not how your woman can serve you, but how can you serve your woman? As a man, your goal is not how a woman can serve your destiny, but how can you do all that you possibly can to release the fullness of God’s glory and destiny in her.

Men take the lead, protect at all costs, provide in every way, live by your word and live a life of adventure with the Holy Spirit — obey God, not man and you will be the man of God you were created to be — and your woman will love you for it.

Back To Realife

2011-03-03T22:38:00.000+11:00

Yea, my long long long long long summer holiday has come to an end. Too much drama, too much tears, too much laughter, too much stories. Too much too much.

My body, my mind, my soul. Everything is mind dying and exhausting. It takes time I guess, it takes time to get everything back in place. Like how it should be, but not used to be.

Throughout the holiday, I cherish and treasure each and every single moment of it. It will stay forever. I love all of them. Good or bad.

Back to the life here, it's like back to a real life. Life with work, reality and actuality. Time to really study, work and study and work and study and work......etc. LOL

It's been 2 weeks. Class just started, things are approaching. Assignments, projects, exams. This is also my final semester by the way. But still deciding about which convocation to take. How about decide with the amount of people who is willing to come to my convo? But it seems to be kinda pathetic to ask: Is there's anyone care to come for my convocation? =D Isn't it? Anyway, will just decide depending on my parents. LOL. Can't wait for my graduation. But before that, will have to go through some painful process- Assessment. Pray hard for me alright? <3

Well. Life had been up and down to me. Like everyone said, life is a roller coaster. Without those up and downs, I wouldn't know who is really there for me and who is meant for me to treasure for my whole life. What I want and how do I want it to be, it is all depend on me. It's my choice after all. Thou, choices are not made by me only. I've seen people, good and bad. This is life. People come by, people go away. Some will stay, some don't. Whether they gave me a good experiences or bad ones, I thank you for coming into my life. Without them, I wouldn't know what is the best for me. And I'm treasuring what I have now. I'm grateful.

"You are the master of your own destiny."

You Won't Know

2011-02-08T04:20:00.000+11:00

Some people, think that they have the whole world in their hand. But well, the world is round. You won't know who's under control at the end of the day.

Stop telling me how smart you are when you're as dumb as a pig. Or perhaps the pig is smarter than you. At least pig won't fall for something like you did. Dumb ass!!!

Yes and No is Pretty Much The Same

2011-02-05T01:16:00.003+11:00

Weewooweewoo~

It's the second day of CNY!!! Wishing everyone I know a Happy and Prosperous year ahead!!! =D

It's pretty much the same every year. We visit relatives, go pay respect to ancestor, pray to the god in temple, open house, gamble. That's about it I guess. This year I had plenty of friends came over my place. It was fun. Really fun.

Anyway, after the holiday with Jia to Bali, nothing much happened in KL. Except many many many meeting up sessions with my friends.

"I don't know, Yes and No is Pretty Much The Same. Doesn't make any different."

Absolute? No.

2011-01-19T01:59:00.001+11:00

I was reading the drama all over again. It reminds me about, nothing is absolute. Nothing is certain until the day you die.

For example, you have an apple.

But the apple might not be yours even if it's in your hand. It might be someone else apple, you are just holding it on behalf.

The apple might even be yours, but the next minute you might give it away to somebody else.

You might try to hold the apple as hard as you possibly could, but the apple slipped and there comes a horse and there goes your apple.

You have the apple already, you gave it a bite. Oh no! There's a worm in it. To the trash your apple go. Perhaps you might think at least you had a bite and it WAS yours. This totally a self-denial attitude.

And the apple can go on and on and on. Until the day the apple is gone, then you'll know where it belongs.

Just like human being, until the day you die, then you'll know who do you belongs to.

"YOURSELF"

After 55 Days of Summer Holiday in Bolehland!

2011-01-18T23:38:00.000+11:00

I know I know I know I've been lazy since I'm back in Bolehland. Yes! I'M FREAKING BACK!!! But not for good. Boo~

I've been ~~very~~ busy with errands and meeting people. People that I long to see. Thou I haven't meet all of them, but almost there. Almost there.

Well, talking about meeting people and attending events and parties, I find it difficult for me to determine which one to go and which not. I don't mind going out with anyone, or anywhere. Seriously. I just don't want people to feel uneasy with my present. I don't want to be a reason of others to not enjoy their day or enjoy what they are doing. I feel guilty about it. Anyway, how generous of you to 'let' me attend the event. I don't even know if I'm invited.

After a month of procrastinating, I think I have a long long long long long long long story to tell.

The first thing I did when I came back was to see someone waiting for me with hands wide open at the arrival hall. Well, not really wide open thou. But I'm happy enough with my longan taufu waiting for me as well. Wee~

Followed with a night with my bff's birthday. Was a successful surprise. Call me the surprise master. ^^ Hope she like it.

Then I had a few meeting up sessions with my beloved brothers and sisters. They were just simply awesome. MAX MAX.

I had my vacation with my love last week. At Avillion, Port Dickson. Not something very luxurious, but something memorable and nice.

Besides, having Christmas in Malaysia is a bless. Plenty of Christmas party went on. I had party with BBC, party with OT, and also party with V's family. It was great. Plenty of pressie.

I have no idea where are all my Christmas pictures >.< Well, you can just check it out on my Facebook Album. This happen to be the most parties Christmas I ever had. Weehoo~ ^^

The most precious was I had a candlelight dinner with him. A dinner especially for me and only me. I think. But I was really touched. Thank you love.

After all the sweet and fun time with them. I worked. To earn more money of course. I went through the whole peninsular.

Seremban -> Port Dickson -> Melaka -> Pontian -> Bukit Tinggi -> Kluang -> Batu Pahat -> Johor Bharu -> Subang -> Shah Alam -> Klang -> Termerloh -> Kuantan -> Kuala Terengganu -> Kota Bahru -> Ipoh -> Penang -> Alor Setar

Phew~ These took me a month to complete it. Everyone asked me what job it is. Well, it wasn't really me who is working, I'm just a chauffeur. Hehe. I drive. But It was fun going around Malaysia. Looking into all the country side places. It's was really fun. Well at least I earned some $ even if it's not.

By the way, I just came back from Bali with my BFF. It was a nice trip which we spent quite a lot doing this and that. For more picture please proceed to Bali Escapade Album.

Wow! This is really a long long long long long long post. This is the punishment for not being a hardworking kid. I love you guys. Will update you more soon. Ciao~

Oh ya! Stay tune on my Facebook Album for more pictures on this holiday. XOXO

"Carefree"

I Dream of A Perfect Date

2010-11-23T19:45:00.001+11:00

I dream of one. A perfect date. Date doesn't have to be someone, but more precisely a perfect day with someone I love.

I always, want an unexpected day. A day where you are brought to places you never expect and places that you like with surprises like something you like to do and something you like.

I imagine it to be like:

Woke up in the morning, find a lovely note on my phone with a lovely reminder and invite. Followed by a call from a person I expect asking me to get off my bed and get ready, that person is on the way to pick me up for a jog at the beach side park. The breeze is great. Seagull everywhere. Not too hot, a lil bit windy. After jog. Follow with a lovely breakkie at the sidewalk of the beach. We sat on a bench with homemade sandwiches and freshly squeeze juice.

After a morning of exercise, take a rest at home doing nothing but just chill. Maybe accompany by a lovely pet. A dog perhaps. Playing with it here and there. After shower, being brought to a lovely garden place for lunch. Doesn't have to be expensive and fancy place, a place like my favourite Caffeinees is just nice.

Follow by an afternoon movie. A romantic comedy maybe. Laugh a bit and feel the sweetness within the ambiance of the movie. Relaxing movie. Touching in the end. I might tears a bit perhaps.

That person wipe my tears and lend me a shoulder to lean on.

After much laughter and tears, a drink before the night come. Perhaps a drink at a rooftop place to see the sunset. Just chill. Along with some talk. Heart-to-heart.

Comes to the end of a day, a homecook dinner will be great. Simple steaks with mashed potato and baked mushroom. Yum yum~ Along with some music and wine. A nice dinner doesn't always come with a price. Perhaps a lil surprise gift would make my day even better. I'm a lil bit greedy, I know I know. But who doesn't like gift?

That's what I call perfect date. A perfect day with a lil bit of surprise, along with some relaxing activity. Hmm... Anyway, I said it out already. Even if someone gave me a day like this it wouldn't be any surprising already. Haha. I'm just so ambivalent. Perhaps a day with everything unexpected but nice will be great. Hmm...

Date Me Please

2010-11-23T11:54:00.000+11:00

Well well well, I'm gonna be back next week. My schedule are pretty much filled up, so I'm quite happy with my holiday gonna be very much occupied. Talking about plans, I haven plenty filled up my calender already. Can't wait and am extremely excited about it now. Wee~

10/12 : BBQ at home

13/12 - 15/12 : PD Trip at Avillion

15/12 - 17/12 : Penang Trip

18/12 : Pajamas Christmas Party with BBC

24/12 : Christmas Eve BBQ with OT

25/12 : Christmas Dinner

06/01 - 09/01 : Bali with Jia

15/01 : Ching and Shiaulee's Wedding

Well, these are what I have at the moment. Other time I'm still available. Perhaps I should put up a list of what I wanna do and you guys gonna fulfill them? What do you say?

1. Skytrex

2. Hiking

3. Yumcha

4. Club club

5. Movie

6. Dental Checkup

7. Non-stop eating

8. Cut hair

9. Meetups

10. Shopping

These are quite simple aren't they? So, call me! You have my number. I'll see you guys on 29/12.

With love.

Mummy or Baby

2010-11-18T14:03:00.000+11:00

Facebook is a very good medium to discuss some topics. A friend discussed about this mummy or baby issue. Simple, will you rather sacrifice the baby or the mummy? I mean during a point when the doctor walk out from the operation theater and ask you this question. What would you choose?

As a mum, of cause she would be more that grateful if the husband would keep the baby. The baby is a mum's precious treasure ever. As a husband, this is the partner that you have known for years and you've decided to keep her and take care of her for the rest of her life. It is difficult for a husband. I wonder if one day *touch wood* my beloved husband would have to make this decision, what will he choose?

Of course, a wife would be delightful to hear the husband have chosen to keep her. But at the same time, as a mum, she would never on earth wanna lose the precious creature of hers. Women are difficult. No matter what decision that would be, there's no right or wrong. Just follow your instinct.

Pre-holiday

2010-11-18T13:02:00.001+11:00

Well well well, my holiday haven't really started, but I already live in my HOLIDAY. LOL. This sounds so stupid. Since a week ago, I had been letting myself to rot at home, play outside, no work, shopping... everything. The final submission date is on coming Friday.

For the past whole week, I've been loitering much in city. Went shopping with my crazy bitches and spent a chunk. The following days, I'm drown in sweat with Bikram Yoga everyday. Aww~ It was a really addictive activity to do. 26 stretching poses and 2 breathing exercise. Refreshed my skin and body. Well it was just a trial session for 10 days. It doesn't really cost much. It's only $19. I'm happy with it. They were crazy and we went 4 days straight. LOL. But we also eat 4 days straight. Hahaha. After the one whole week of madness, they went back to KK. I'm left behind. Rot. Again.

Since Saturday, I'm down with ulcers, flu, fever, cough, headache and a bit of everything. That's kinda bad for a holiday. I hope it won't extend till I'm back in Bolehland. *Fingers and toes crossed*

What goes around, comes around

2010-11-08T05:23:00.003+11:00

I can't tell how pissed off I am now. 5 in the morning and I'm writing this. Just nobody for me to talk to, nobody to tell. I just wanna scream my lungs out. I wish I have a delete button. So that I can delete all the unwanted memories. So that I don't have to be like this. I envy the old lady I met at the age care center. I wish I could be like her, not remembering those moment.

I'm different in handling this now. I used to throw tantrum, get upset, fight, and even cry. I'm not, now. Everything stays there. Even if I know, all I can do is just remain silence. I don't understand your logic, you never had.

"What goes around, comes around."

I'm Just Intelligent

2010-11-02T01:18:00.004+11:00

Haven't talk much about my study lately. What's my current status? Still alive. Haha. That's the best word to describe my situation now. Well. Work load isn't that bad afterall. They were just crazy. CRAZEY as hell!!! Let me show you how crazy it was.

Well, I'm an intelligent, smart, and wise girl. And I am really good in time management. I finished all my assignments 2 weeks earlier! >.< Wow~ Give myself a clap *applause* But now I'm left at home, nothing to do. Like totally nothing to do AT ALL!

Anyway, I said its hectic. Let me tell you how hectic my timeline was.

29/10 - Collaboration News Story

Cultural Event Presentation

5/11 - Cultural Analysis

8/11 - Major Media Story

12/11 - Radio Documentary

19/11 - Remix Project

It doesn't seem to be very bad, but it's really really bad! Seriously. I only have 4 weeks to finish up all these thing. Well, you know, with my intelligent planning, everything is done! Wee~

I thought I wouldn't finish it so soon, so I didn't change my flight. Well, I regretted. How I wish I could. Some one please give me a chunk of money so that I can change my flight and get back sooner. But, that was just a dream.

Well, well. I should plan out something for the time being. Touring around perhaps? Since I haven't been really explored around Melbourne yet. But the only issue would be money. *kaching kaching* Where to find?

Anyway, this is one of my piece of work this semester. I know I know. Nothing fantastic, but I just thought of sharing.

Well, I have another Radio documentary to show. But I haven't figured out where to post it. Hmm... Well you can always ask me about it if you want to^^

Oh ya, and let me know if you need anything from Australia when I'm back to Bolehland. Don't worry, I charge. HAHAHAHAHA

"Oink oink~"

Call Me Queen B

2010-10-29T17:23:00.001+11:00

Once again, I'm back into Gossip Girl addiction. Looking at their relationship, tricks, with cheat and lie. I feel myself in it. Honestly. I feel it.

The tension between Chuck and Blair has once against erupt. I love the fact that they love each other, but they just can't be together. They varnish. The hurt. They just can't bare to see each other living in happiness without themselves. They are selfish, just like me. I am too. But I tolerate, in a way. I'm not weak, but I believe that I would gain something in return.

Well. In the end, they still love each other. In everyway. Whether they want to destroy each other, or they hurt each other, or even humiliate each other. Everything came from the fact that they love each other. Very much.

"You know you love me. XOXO. Lily Clover. "

By the way, spotted some one had a fling. HAD, I say. Nobody know. I just realised it yesterday when that person told me. I was kinda shocked seeing a loving couple like them, they had their issue as well. I was impressed with the faith he had on her. I'm even touched. That's a good start. They had gone through a year being apart. Now, it's time for them to save something together for themselves. Memory perhaps.

"I wish."

=)

2010-10-27T07:35:00.000+11:00

I ain't that scary am I? I've seen people can't wait to get me out of their world. Like seriously don't want me to even exist in their world. But friend, we're living in the same world. I still exist.

It all started with a misunderstanding which the technology world gave us. Or is it the relationship between us that created this misunderstood? Well, no one to blame but blame what had happened. I wasn't meant to be in your way. I was never in your way honestly. I swear to the world, I never intended to go into it. I was dedicated to someone else back then. Never intended on that person. So, why hate me? About that misunderstand issue, I didn't know. Seriously, I didn't know it wasn't your fault. It's the technology's fault. Sorry. I shouldn't had post those thing. I'm sorry.

After so long, things had change into this circumstances. Why are you still holding on it? I thought you let go already. Or is it what we're doing is hurting you, in anyway? I'm sorry again.

Perhaps, maybe we'll meet one day. Walking on the street, met each other unintentionally. Then, I wonder if you'll say hi. I thought we were friend. Seriously. I thought we were.

I might sounded like I'm trying to show off something, but I was not. Never intend to. Nothing to be proud of anyway.

Just be happy girl. Don't live in your past, live for the future.

Dream

2010-10-25T21:58:00.000+11:00

I had a dream.

My dream used to be marrying a rich man and live happily ever after. Nowadays, much changes occurs. Changing of mentality towards what I want and what I desire in the future. I don't need to have a lot of money. I don't have to be super duper rich. I only wish for an average life, which I don't have to be worried about anything.

Then, I wish to have a business of my own. Not for money, but just leisure. I wish to have a cafe of my own. I can make coffee everyday. It doesn't have to an earning business, it just have to be a place where I can just do what ever I like. With no stress. Selling coffee I brew, sandwich I made, and cakes I bake. Besides that, the place would sell nice breakfast as well. With nice ambiance to have a quiet and nice breakfast. A place like Caffeinees perhaps. Hmm... I really wish to have a place like that. Very much.

Maybe not in the short future. Maybe in the time when I earned enough to bare my living. How I really wish I could have that one day.

Happy Birthday

2010-10-23T19:09:00.000+11:00

I should be talking about my birthday right? That happened a week ago. It wasn't what I expect. But it is more than I expect. Really. I'm thankful.

I never know it would be like that. I had a night. Thanks to them. They made my day. They really did. They are the best. Glad that I have them here. They are something to me.

The day I step onto this land, the part of my life changed. It is different already. All over. Everything is different. I feel it myself. That way.

I become more and more independent. I started to not count on anyone. To not rely on anything mentally or physically. I'm on myself. Alone.

"Happy Birthday to Myself"

Fool

2010-10-16T12:34:00.000+11:00

I feel so dumb now. Woke up this morning and found myself being a fool. I've been a fool all this while. Blindfolding myself. Keep myself away from everything. In a way, it's pushing me towards looking at what is the reality. I hope what I see is and what I feel is not real.

I've been taken for granted all this while. I didn't do anything. My effort is worthless. All that I've done are all bull shit. I know I shouldn't be saying this early in the morning but I can't help it but felt that way. It sucks. It really sucks.

Somebody just come and ask me if I'm alright, and I think I'll cry my lungs out. Seriously. I'd rather stay out of everything by now. I wonder what is it gonna be when I'm back. It sucks! Totally. Very much. Front and back. Inside out. Feel like vomiting. Grr...

The Rule of Love

2010-10-13T23:14:00.005+11:00

What do you hope for in a relationship? In every relationship, there would be expectation. A relationship without expectation, it's nothing. Cause you don't even want it to be better or a change. Expectation is never too high, it is whether you tried your best to achieve it or not. Whether you succeed, it doesn't matter. Effort is forever worth more that everything, even if it turns out to be a disappointment. But if the effort is there, you will just keep trying and trying. Just to make everything better. Maybe this idea was just totally one sided.

What I hope for in my relationship. I only hope for three simple and basic thing. I shall call this expectation too. I wonder if it's too high. This is for you to tell me.

Love

This is the most basic thing in every relationship. Even in the relationship with parents and friend. There should always be love. If you don't love the person, there isn't any relationship at all. Which is why, I only hope for a heart that love me completely. Well don't have to be some psycho freak who love me till they feel like killing me. No no~ Don't come to me.

Care

Something that everyone need. Maybe a lil bit extra from the one you love. Just a lil bit more. That person doesn't really have to be virtually with me, but just concern and care is more than what I ask for. This is just my imagination: When I'm down and depress (You are down and depress all the time! >.<), that person would just call and tell me, "Don't worry, everything will be fine. I'll be here for you. Anytime." Or maybe that person would just ask me if I'm alright when I'm not acting normal. Well, I know this kinda care I can just get it from my family or friends. But don't you think that the care from the person you love or the person who loves you should be slightly different? Care is always about feeling. Just care about how I feel or perhaps what I would feel when that person do this or do that. I've been told to care about people's feeling. How about mine? Deserved to be taken for granted? Well, I'm just saying. I needcare too.

Honesty

Finally. A healthy relationship, should be build with its basic foundation, which is honesty. Without honesty, there wouldn't even be trust and faith. Without these things, a relationship wouldn't last or it wouldn't even exist. The most trust-able person should be your family. Because they wouldn't betray you. Aren't having a relationship equals to looking for another family member in your life? If that person is not even trustworthy, then why have the relationship?

I wonder if I'm asking too much. Correct me if I'm wrong.

By the way, do I really look like a materialistic girl who only look at branded bags, clothes, nice car, penthouse? Am I? Am I? Huh? Huh? Huh?

My Wish

2010-10-12T15:11:00.004+11:00

Sorry, but I just can't face this because this is too emotional that me myself can't bare to see myself like this. I'm helpless. In every way. As always.

Friday is approaching. Just trying to keep myself cheer up. So that it won't be a pathetic birthday this year. I never had good birthday. Ever. Even last year, or year before. On that day, it never turn out right.

This year, I only hope for a peaceful and calm birthday. I don't need any surprise. What I want is only a light smile when my friend say 'Happy Birthday Lily.' I'll be more than happy. More than ever.

This hasn't been a great year. But it's not that bad after all. At least I met some one that will really have a place in my heart forever. No matter what happen in the near future or later.

I try to not put in any expectation. But eventually I'm putting expectation and hope into it. Pathetic.

Well, my only wish. Be happy and pass all my subject. Wee~

Blindfold

2010-10-12T01:25:00.000+11:00

Do you remember, there is this one game. Where you get blindfolded and then you'll have to count on your other senses to find the people that you are finding for. Would you take off the cloths? Would you rather break the rule just to let yourself see clearly? Would you? Or you would rather being blindfolded so that you can't see what's out there. Good or bad. Happy or sad.

When there's someone came by and tries to lead you, should you trust that person? Just follow? What if that person is for no good? What if the person leads you to the wrong pathway? What if the person did it on purpose? What if someone take away the fold for you? He/she did it to show you the truth. Show you how cruel the world is, show you how ugly the truth is.

It might break you, or even tear you apart.

"I rather to be blindfolded, now"

I Love The Way You Lie

2010-10-11T00:05:00.004+11:00

Some people just can't do the job better. Ass is not that big, cover better please. Especially when it's so easy to find out. Call me smart or my network is just too strong. I told you I'll find out when someone lied.

Lying is an art. How you lie, what you lie, to whom you lie and why you lie. These are all the settings before you lie. But you only have 1 second to set all these up. Once you lie, you should never go back. Lying is based on the trust from people. People trust you and you betray their trust. Trust is earned. You don't get it by doing nothing. When you lose it, that's it. It takes a very long time to accumulate it again. Lose everything in the world. But please don't lose the trust.

People always say white lies are necessary. But to me, it's just once. Once and for all. If ever I find out, that's it. Even though the intention was good. But when you lie, you'll just keep going on and on and on. It's like a drug, take it for once and you'll crave for it.

"Just be patience"

Open to be Vacant

2010-10-08T18:55:00.000+11:00

Did I tell you about my job. I mean the Barista job in city. I used to like my job when we were still using the old espresso machine. Until my boss change it, sold the toaster, and my two colleague quit the job, I started to hate my job. Thou he raised my pay. But the new machine just sucks and everything was bad, especially he even sell off the shop. Yea, I have a new boss, a lady boss. She looks arrogant in anyway, the way she talk just irritating as if she is great. That's not the whole point. She even cut my working hour. I used to work almost 20 hours or at least 14 hours a week. Now I'm down to about 12 hours or 18 max a week. That's kinda bad. Especially when I'm taking up my own living expenses here. I don't really feel myself in this job anymore. Until that day, Cassey called me and said her company is hiring. Well, I kinda envy her high pay job before that. I went to the interview today. Not really an interview after all. He asked me to see him tomorrow at Dandenong, and passed me a stack of paper, document I mean. Yes! It's DANDENONG!!! Hell it's like freaking far!!! >.< but well, I'll still go tomorrow and see how is it going then I'll decide if I'm gonna quit the Barista job. Wish me luck peeps. Cheers~

"Can I have a Synesso at home?"

I Have Friends. They Don't.

2010-10-07T01:27:00.005+11:00

I have a friend, L. He just got back with his ex.

I have a friend, H. She is hell of a bitch.

I have a friend, K. He is just so pathetic.

He broke up with the current long time ago because he cheated on her. He deserve it anyway. He's been telling me how remorse he is. He regretted for doing it. He just can't help. I think he should never be forgiven. But, I just can't bare seeing my friend in grief. I gave him a hand, and they got back together as a couple a month ago.

I never like her. It was fine when I first met her. But in a way, I feel weird with the way she act in front of me and behind me in front of my friends, especially guys. Her eyes. I don't know, but it seems like a lot of people hate her. Not just me. She's not a friend.

He is a very good friend of mine. Love talking to him.

L & H

They were friend too. When he told me about the remorse, he told her too. I've heard about it. But he said he hated her and never talk. That's what he told me. But you betrayed and lied to me.

K & H

He likes her. But she don't. Pathetic. She told him about L's remorse.

Me & L & H & K

L felt grateful to me laying a helpful hand. K thought H was that angel. L lied to me about him and H just to get me to help. How convenient. I never blame K. It's not his fault. I regretted helping L. I wonder if he even told H about his hatred to me.

Now I see.

"7,516,800 vs 24,019,200"
=P

She

2010-10-03T16:34:00.001+11:00

I'm not complaining since I didn't correct him at the first place that he thought she's the one who did it. She looks like an angel to both of them, or perhaps all of them. I'm not skeptical or bias to her, though I don't really like her at all.

Yes, she did involve in that incident. But you just didn't see how much I helped. Only if he is hiding that he actually spoke to her a lot. While he told me he hated her. Perhaps then its just me myself who thought that way that I did helped him and they are now at their best. Did I helped or did she? I don't know.

Anyway, the fact that she took the pride. She is an angel. She did all the good thing. She helped a lot of people. She is a good listener. She can give good advise. I'm nothing compare to her right?

"曖昧是最美的"

Hope

2010-10-01T23:49:00.000+10:00

This is the first day of October. I've been back here for almost 2 months. Another 1.5 months and I'll be back again. I don't like to talk about going back anymore. It's boring already. I've been ranting about it foe so many times already.

It's October again. A month that I hope it would be filled with joy and happiness with no sorrow and pain.

Last month, things happen. Sad things happen. Life is full with uncertainty and worries.

Well, since this is a month I've been longing (not really thou), I shall hope for something. I don't need any expensive thing. But what I want is just happiness. It's just that simple.

Wee Chye Kee

2010-09-29T19:37:00.000+10:00

Ever since I have memory about my childhood, what I remember about my grandfather is he will give me pocket money. Besides that, my favorite time is when my grandfather go for morning walk, he would bring me to the playground.

Now, he had gone to another place and I believe that he would be better there. The place where my grandmother went 2 years ago. The land without pain and sorrow. He left us at 2pm this afternoon.

Thank you for being such a caring and beloved grandparent to us all. You'll be in our heart.

I love you, my grandfather. Wee Chye Kee.

Learn

2010-09-29T00:57:00.002+10:00

This is the worst day of my life. Bad things happened. Nothing is good. Or maybe one, that I'm still living. The pressure is forcing me. Hard. It's like suffocating. Or it's like I might die any minute. I realize, when I wanna talk to someone, I got nobody to turn to. I'm alone. I tried. But it's like I'm giving people pressure. I shouldn't. People don't have to listen to my crap. Anyway, nobody really wanna listen and willing to listen. Even the one I care and love. I know you're reading this. Probably forcing yourself to think that I'm not writing about you. Well, if you're happy this way. I'll just bare with it. Someone told me, the only thing I can do is bare with it. Even if I mind, I jealous, I mad, I sad, I emo, no matter what I do it's all the same. Yea I'm pessimistic. Sorry, I can't help.

Besides, my lappie just have to let me down at this time, even the clothe I like has problem. Everything just have to come together. Well, it's good in a way. So that I won't have to be furious separate into few days. Come in one go is great. Someday, I'll learn to not worry, to not care, to not feel. That's when I'm there with popo.

2010-09-25T19:59:00.000+10:00

After so many years, I'm sick of these.

I shall make a move.

Dear Mr Pathetic

2010-09-23T20:59:00.001+10:00

Dear Mr Pathetic,

How are you? Well, this question is kinda stupid to ask. I thought you are well all the while. Should I or not talk to you in this way? Sarcastic huh? Did I become a threat to you and push you into the corner? You don't even know exactly for what reason I hate you and won't tolerate. It's not what you did a year ago, but the time when you don't see me as a FRIEND. That's not the way to treat a friend. Am I in self acquisition? Because I don't even know if you're even talking about me. What happened last December, I wouldn't forget. I've never been disregard by anyone before. I thought we were friend, best friend. But I can't understand how could you do that to me. I thought of giving you a chance, but you just missed it. I think I'll talk to you one day when I feel like it again. Wonder if you would read this. How do you feel. That's what I think. This letter.

Love,

W • O • R • K

2010-09-19T23:11:00.002+10:00

I spoke to a friend, he has lose his motivation and passion in his current job. Well talking about work, human live to work? Or do they work to live? It's a chicken and egg question anyway.

I love to work, especially with fun and passionate people. This sounds naive. In the corporate world, it's all about status, politic and power. I've gone through that. But nothing affect me because I'm not really gonna take that job as my career. That was just a short period of time. I'm talking about working in Kopitiam Asia Pacific Sdn Bhd, if you so happen to know what company is that. Of course, there were much politics happening in there. I'm blessed that I'm not one of the people who sacrifice because of politic. I love my colleagues. They were nice and helpful to me. I'm a new girl, know nuts about corporate environment. They brought me through. That could be one of the job I love so far.

I've been working pretty much since I was 15. Sis wanted me to get myself a partime job during my school holiday. I'm kinda lucky. Every job I get was decent and I feel grateful to all my bosses. So many kinda job, retail, promoter, teacher, sampling, sales, tester, marketing, etc etc. I remember each and every job. They were all great. I always love my bosses. Because they are great to me.

More and more pics, but I don't know where those picture went. LOL. As time goes by, sometimes I miss the time. With some people.

In a working environment, you see faces. Friendly face, polite face, fake face, dick face, stupid face, dumb face, sneaky face, angry face, fucked up face and etc etc. This is life. Life is all about work and work and work. Wonder if you work to live, or you live to work?

In A Month Time

2010-09-18T23:06:00.000+10:00

One month to go. Not that far thou. It's approaching. But, this time I don't feel a thing. Possibly cause I know it won't be anything.

I used to look forward to this very day every year since I left high school. But not anymore. I don't know why. It's not special anymore. I don't want this day to come. It won't be anything.

Years ago, when I was still in high school, it doesn't mean anything to me either. Because I don't have much friend back then. Not being appreciate. I was a nasty, arrogant, difficult, unfriendly, unsociable and unlikeable person. Hmm... Those are the best words to describe me I guess. That's why I never look forward to it. Until I met them, friends. The day started to mean something to me. I had some memorable one. They were really great. Really. I wish I can have it again. But I can't turn back time, nor make myself there.

What do I want? What's my wish? What do I hope for? Perhaps, something simple. Just a wonderful year ahead. That's enough. I know, I know, I'm greedy in a way. But that's really what I want. I don't mind if you wanna grant me what's on my wishlist. I'll be more than happy to receive those.

Perception

2010-09-18T01:32:00.001+10:00

People has perception. People think what they think it is. You think that the animal is a chicken, in fact it is actually a duck. But you already have the perception that it is a duck, therefore no matter what people say, to you it will forever be a duck. Another type is people think that the way you react is a norm. That's the way you are, that's the way you behave and you react to thing.

I remember when I was still a kid, one day when my mum ask me if I threw the rubbish on the floor. I said no, in a very pleasant manner. My mum ended up screwed me. I didn't do that and tried to explain. And my mum said,"If it wasn't you, you scream your lungs out denying about what you didn't do. This is how you will react." I was so sad, just because my mum think that I would react that way and she made her decision on the result of that incident. I'm innocent.

Until now, I grow up. People has their perception on how I react to stuff. I'm narrow-minded. I tried to be someone. But I'm just being seen as no one.I might not be what I claim to be. But I'm certainly trying very hard to be one. Seeing me that way, does it mean that you actually know me well enough.

Nobody can understand someone perfectly. Not even my parents: They don't know me, don't even know about my thoughts. Am I pathetic?

Sicky Spring

2010-09-11T00:16:00.000+10:00

Again, I think I should blog now. I read the drama all over again. It's still as exciting as it was. It's always a bell ringer to me, reminding me not to be overwhelm and over into it. I always remind myself.

I was sick for the past 3 weeks. Severely. Well, probably this is a good time to lose weight. Or perhaps not, because my two lovely and adorable housemate has been forcing me to eat so much. Did I gain weight instead? HAHA. Besides sickness, assignments and workload worries me. Assignments are over for the meantime, but I think I shall start doing the rest before I have to rush all together in one go again. That's hectic and stressful.

Sometimes, I think I really have to learn how to be alone. Like really alone. No friend, no family, no boyfriend, no nothing. I shouldn't feel a thing, since I've been like this since I came here.

I did something. Something that I felt guilt in me. Something I'd never did in my life. Something someone may feel disappointed about me. But, it is also something that some people would be excited about it. I'm not regret. I did not. Because I know it would be nice, and that's what I want. I just hope it would be carried out well. I hope, I really hope.

It's Spring already. I hope everything will be nice. Flowers, sun shine, carnival, beach. That's what I see coming on the way. Wee~

Since the objectives of going back to Bolehland has been done 80% on the previous trip, I think I shall start another list. Including something that somebody promised me. Hehe. Watch me.

"We'll be a dream"

Rehab

2010-09-05T00:44:00.000+10:00

Hmm... Probably I shall blog today, since I'm so free and lonely. LOL.

Sickness has been sticking on me lately, mental sickness, physical sickness, everything. Sometimes I think I have depression. But I just haven't reach the extend that I would kill myself. haha. Well, like what's written on my profile, I'm emotionally unstable at times. Which means, I might cry now, and laugh afterward. I'm kinda crazy ain't I? Had been sick for weeks, maybe months. When can I go back to the me? I wanna be myself again.

Anyway, people around me just can't stop driving me crazy. Pressure is everywhere. This is a process I guess. For a better future? Or perhaps a better me in the future, that I learn to handle this. Probably one day, you won't see any expression on my face because I don't feel a thing.

Human are born to be alone, born to be lonely. Nobody can escape this. You came to this world as one, you leave this world as one too. I think I should go to rehab, my addiction needs a treatment, Hope it would be cure soon. This addiction is killing me. Mentally dependence is not good. I shall be like Debbie one day. =)

Sucks

2010-08-30T17:25:00.000+10:00

I hate my life!!! Sucks!!!

A Letter to R

2010-08-30T03:53:00.003+10:00

Dear R,

I know you're stress. But please chill while reading this.

Well, I haven't wrote to you for a long long time. How have you been? Missing me much? I guess so. Heard about you. Please don't freak out when bad happens. They happen for a reason, somebody always tell me this. I believe in it too. He hasn't treat you right probably because he don't know how to handle you. You are not like the others, you're special and precious. Trust me. At least you are to me. You deserve to get what is good for you. He is good, undeniable. But in a way, he is also abusing you darling. Mentally. How long could you stand being torture like this? I'm not being demotivate here, I'm saying this for your own good. He may be the best thing in this world, but at the same time, he might be the worst thing you've ever had in this world. Give and take. Just be yourself. Don't diverse to some psycho, obsessive and irrational person, because I know you are not. You are as perfect as and angel.

Crying over broken promises is no use. They can't be mend. He won't even remember or even care about it. So just don't put up much expectation. Go as flow. You'll find interesting and wonderful things happening. From him perhaps? =) Stay as who you are. Live on!

I'll talk to you sometime alright?

Love,
Ly

100

2010-08-24T20:41:00.002+10:00

100 days to go.

That's quite fascinating to thought about. Planning had been going lately. Plans about what I'm gonna do after I graduate; plans about my holiday; plans about my future; plans for my finance. Everything has to really plan it out.

Well, actually I just got back from my holiday. Shouldn't be homesick so soon. But thinking about the assignment coming like giant waves, now I miss holiday already.

Since I'm here already, nothing much can be done even thou I miss my holiday. So, I think I shall plan out for my coming spring holiday. Wee~ So much to plan about. I shall also plan for my holiday when I'm back to Bolehland. Well, I do have much to do. Hope everyone is still there for me.

Life isn't easy over here. To sustain for my finance, I really have to come out with a brilliant plan. Cut my diet is the first thing I'm gonna do. Well it's not solely to save, but also to slim down. I've freaking gained 3kg in Malaysia. >.< That's really bad. Besides that, I will really have to WORK hard to earn that money. But assignments came along, since this is a semester with only assignments and project. No exams at all. Well, it kills, in a way. When it all pile up. But, luckily, looking at the schedule I sorted out, didn't really pile up but it comes like waves. Every week is a due date. So, I will really have to work hard on this too.

In order to work hard on both the thing, a healthy body is needed. But unfortunately, flu and tonsil virus has got to me. Down. Boo~ Sicked for the past two days. Sorry for keeping you guys worried about me. I'm well, pretty much I guess. Will recover completely soon.

Now, what I really need is some motivation to get my work started. Had been procrastinating much. Move girl! Move!

"I can't wait to be back."

Self-Denial

2010-08-17T00:29:00.000+10:00

Too much things running in my mind. I need a peace of mind. I wanna get rid of everything and just focus on myself. But, I can't.

I've been doing some really stupid things lately. Really stupid. I don't know why I did that. Don't even know how did I came out with the idea of doing it. I'm changing. I can see myself changing. To somebody I don't know. Horrible, and scary. Really.

I don't know if it's me myself think too much, or is it really happening. She did it right after that incident. This is like somebody told her to. Have you been talking to her? Much? Well. Perhaps the answer is obvious enough. How can you be such scary person that I don't even know who you are anymore. I thought I know you. I thought you're just like what I thought you are. But well the fact is that, I'm too naive to think that you're somebody like what I thought previously. This is something I never thought it would happen after all these years. I'm in self-denial.

Wrap

2010-08-14T01:54:00.000+10:00

You know that day, someone said I'm an easy type of girl. Well, it's not a compliment apparently. He meant I'm a very easy type of girl, which means I'm easy to get. He even said something like, if he is the one going after me, he will get me for sure. It's like no matter who came after me, they'll get me too. Well, I wanna say:"Try me!"

Besides that, people think that I stalk a lot. On everyone. Please come on. I'm not a stalker ok? I don't have the time to bother about people's business. People also relates me to words like mean, sarcastic and probably scary. Maybe I am. Or am I? Well, nobody's an angel. Come on, face the fact. Even if a beautiful, kind hearted, soft spoken and gentle lady would go home and hit the bunny. Well, I never said I'm an angel. So, suit yourself thinking that I'm a mean, sarcastic and scary person. I'm not referring to anyone. So, please don't get offended.

I mean no harm to anyone. Please don't judge me!

Sometimes, I got so demotivated when I didn't write something that people expect from my post. Or should I stop blogging? Hmm... What do you say?

Flew to MY Holiday

2010-08-13T20:07:00.000+10:00

Holiday is over and here comes the new semester. I just got back from KL on Sunday night, or is it Monday night? Confused.

Coming back of course there are much unbearable because I made my holiday happening, fun and meaningful in Malaysia. Reminiscing the moments in Malaysia is like a dream. Now I'm awake, everything is back to default. Back to uni, back to work, back to real life. I had fun going out with friends, but I can't seem to meet each and everyone, that's the saddest part. I'm so so so sorry people.

Well, it seems like I have fulfill almost 80% of my objectives going back to Bolehland for holiday.

I spent time with my parents at Cameron. Never been to any place with them for a long long time. Thou, it is not as fun as spending time with friends. But, it is precious. Oh, and I get to spend time taking care of my lil princess. Yea, the one Varren babysit that day. Now he love Xuan more than me. = 3= Should I be jealous? LOL.

Besides spending time with family, I spend time with friend eating. Yes! Eating any place, any time with them. And I gained weight. Yes! I'm like 5Xkg now! It's like Oh My Fucking God! >.< I'm so gonna start dieting. Eat healthy in Melbourne!!! I'll lose weight within this 3 months! I promise. I doubt actually.

Besides eating, I thought I wanna watch a lot of movies in Malaysia because it's really cheap! Dead cheap! But ended up I didn't watch much because no company. I watched like 3 movies only. But they were great. I thought I wanted to watch so so much. But I did not. Hmm... Nobody go with me. Pity. Well, I watched . It was awesome. I wonder if I would wanna stuck in there with my loved one. Would you?^^

Coming back to Melbourne is just like waking up from a long sleep. With a wonderful dream. A lovely one. But I just can't get enough of it.

Pictures? Check out over here. =)

Maybe just this one. Thanks to my dailou Lucas and my sis. They send me off. Wee~ <3

Big Daddy

2010-08-02T03:55:00.003+10:00

It was indeed a lovely week. That's what I can say. LOL

Well, last Friday was the only day I would have to stay home for one whole day (sad to say that.). What am I up to? Babysitting. Yes! babysit my lovely lil niece- Baby Xuan. I thought it would be easy and handy. I thought...

Baby came at around 12.30pm after her vaccination. Of course my lil princess was as lovely as usual. Get her milk as usual and thought she would go to sleep after that like all the other babies. By the way, this is like the first time I take care of her on my own. She finished her milk, but! She didn't want to go to sleep at all! Fine, well I can play with her. Until Varren came with my lunch. Baby still up and playing. Can barely eat my lunch. After lunch, baby is still so energetic and luckily Varren is here to take care of her. He is a pro! OMG~ But understandable since he has so many nieces and nephews. He can really cope with babies. *applause*

Glad he is here with me. Otherwise I wouldn't know what I would do to baby. LOL. Don't worry, nothing to do with abusing. Oh, here comes the Big Daddy.

Awww~ <3 They are so adorable.

I'm Back

2010-07-28T02:54:00.000+10:00

I should be typing this long long long long time ago but I kept procrastinating. Because my life is too busy now. I even have plan tomorrow early morning. Like 7am? LOL. What to do that early? Jogging of course. I gained weight, like seriously grown fat! I dare not to stand up on the weighing scale because I know, I might hate myself after that. So, I'll just bare with it until I'm back in Melbourne. I'm a self denial. I don't care.

Before I start anything, I shall start with shouting:

"I'M BACK PEEPS! Woo~"

Well, how had my holiday been so far? Despite the part in Melbourne, it's the part in Kuala Lumpur I should mention now. It's a surprise, it's not one either cause surprise failed in a way, but it succeed in a way too. What am I talking about? Stupid. Nevermind. I should say I surprised people I'm suppose to surprise, but people also did surprise me by knowing my surprise. Gosh! I'm really crapping here >.<

Anyway, I came back since last Saturday. It's been a week till now since I came back. I've been really busy that I have to reject some of the date. I'm not being action, arrogant, show off or what ever you name it here. But really I can't meet up with each and everyone, though I really really really want to. That's kinda sad. But I tried my best. But still there'll be complaints here and there. From my friend, family, bff, buddy, who ever ever. What I can say here is only SORRY.

Well, I came back and had a party at VV's house right after I land. But it's not really a party, it's just a potluck dinner with all of them. No contribution from me. LOL. Well day after I went to dodgeball. I can really call myself the UCSIDD Lucky Charm.I went and they won. Wee~ I really really proud of them. They got champion in MAPCU among all the uni.

Well, day after and after and after, I'm just busy running here and there, doing this and that. Going to my aunt's house to drop off the pressie, getting stuff for family, pay respect to my late grandma and ancestor and etc. Don't really have much time to spend with all my friends. I know some of you might be furious or even think that I just neglected you guys. But I swear! Deep down in me, I've really wanted to meet you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and YOU, if possible. I'll try my best k?

Last Saturday was UCSI University 2010 graduate convocation. I went, this is really something I would never wanna miss.All my good friends and buddies are graduated. I'm so proud of them and glad to see their success. I'm glad that I could make it to the convocation. One of them also happen to be my bff, Galy. So proud of him. On the next day, I followed him and the family for the graduation and family photoshooting session. Feels quite weird, but I'm glad and honored that the parents invited me. After that, the parents even gave me a treat, well, it's actually an early birthday celebration for Galy. His birthday falls on 8th of August. Don't know whether is it because of me, they changed the date. But, no matter what, I felt so honored. Thank you aunty and uncle. And all the best and may all your wish come true. My BFF- Galy Ng!

What is the 'must-do' thingy when I'm back in KL? Nonetheless MAKAN!!! Lets see how's my makan list going.

1. ~~Longan Taufu~~

2. ~~Quan's~~

3. ~~Herbal Chicken Rice~~

4. ~~Bak Kut Teh~~

5. Caffeinees

6. Klang/ K.Selangor Seafood

7. Saga Hill Roti Tisu

8. Sakae Sushi

9. ~~Riceball with Ginger soup~~

10. Hoi Kee Fish Head

11. Shabu-shabu at Kuchai

12. ~~Puchong Pan Mee/ Mei Yee Pan Mee~~

13. ~~Snow Flake~~

14. Petaling St Ikan Bakar

15. Petaling St Longan Lo Hon Kor

16. ~~Assam Laksa~~

17. ~~Dim Sum~~

18. Nice dinner at Cafe Cafe

It seems like, I have pretty much to catch up. Let's get it started babeh. ROFL~

(PS: For more pictures, stay tune to my facebook update. Wee~)

"I'm different."

Nervous

2010-07-17T12:11:00.000+10:00

I don't know why but I feel unreasonably nervous. This is not the first time but I really kinda nervous. It's because the people I'm gonna meet, the place I'm gonna go or the things I'm gonna do? The last time I felt this way was the night before my parents brought me to Sunway Lagoon.

Happy

2010-07-16T21:45:00.000+10:00

I'm getting ready for tomorrow.

Probably some of you would know what's going on. Hehe.

I'm so excited now. Wee~ So happy.

I Will Be...

2010-07-09T00:39:00.005+10:00

I'm having a very very long holiday. Like almost 2 months. Hmm... Probably I shall travel around AUS and explore a bit. But everything needs 'kaching kaching'. Am, I'm really lack of 'kaching kaching'. ROFL~ Seriously. Went shopping the entire week. I mean last week and now I'm broke. Besides that, I spent a lot on food. OMG! Really ate a lot lately. I wonder if I would spend this much if I'm in KL now. Probably I wouldn't, I guess. I'll still spend of course. I had been wondering, what would I do if I'm in KL now?

1. Attend UCSI graduation ceremony

2. Sing K

3. Eat around (Herbal Chicken Rice, Bak Kut Teh, Caffeinees, Longan Taufu... the list goes on and on.)

4. Go trip (Melacca, Penang, Ipoh, Kuantan...)

5. Hiking (Chilling Fall, Saga Hill, Gunung Nuang...)

6. Choose bridal gown and shooting with Ching

7. Party with the gang

8. Countless dinner

9. Yum cha

10. Clubbing

11. Shopping

12. Meeting up with people (including you, you, you and YOU)

13. Watch movie

14. Play dodgeball + Training with them

15. Renew my passport

16. Cut my hair

17. Dating
18. Shooting

Hmm... what else?! It's really a lot right? Well. That's just what I thought I wanna do. Hmm... All my imagination.

Probably I shall list down what I really crave to eat. One-by-one.

1. Longan Taufu
2. Quan's
3. Herbal Chicken Rice
4. Bak Kut Teh
5. Caffeinees
6. Klang/ K.Selangor Seafood
7. Saga Hill Roti Tisu
8. Sakae Sushi
9. Riceball with Ginger soup
10. Hoi Kee Fish Head
11. Shabu-shabu at Kuchai
12. Puchong Pan Mee/ Mei Yee Pan Mee
13. Snow Flake
14. Petaling St Ikan Bakar
15. Petaling St Longan Lo Hon Kor
16. Assam Laksa
17. Dim Sum
18. Nice dinner at Cafe Cafe

Wow... I think I'll grow fat in Malaysia instead of growing fat in Melbourne if I'm gonna eat those in KL. LOL

"Things will be better soon. I promise. "

Listen • Watch • Feel

2010-07-07T03:09:00.002+10:00

Well well well~ Rise and shine. I'm now really having my holiday. Sleep at 3am, wake up at 12pm, brunch, laundry, room cleaning, facebook, movie, outing, work out, bla bla bla. Oh, not forgetting what I've been doing so far since my holiday started, SHOPPING~! I bought so many things and now I'm broke. But I'm happy to be broke. Rofl~ I bought so so many things for him and her and him and them and it and of course for myself. Like what my sister said, it's good to be broke when you shop till like that. Lol. Anyway, I got myself things that I like so I'm satisfied.

By the way, had been hearing too much story lately. About the story on my facebook the other day ( I wrote: he love you and you love him, but she love him and he love her. Oh, and they love you too) well, the story is kinda long, but I'll just shorten it.

It's between 2 girls and 4 guys. The End.

LOL. Is this short enough? Well, about love. I don't have much experience I guess. But I definitely have a lot of stories and own philosophy to tell. (here comes her perasan-ness again) looking at this complicated and messy relationship, basically there's nothing much to say but, I hope you and him will last forever. You're great and everything a man could dream of (maybe not all), there's aren't any reason for him to leave even if she had a crush on him. So just be confident and you'll be there, with him. Forever.

A question had been bothering me much lately. Am I a materialistic, realistic and mean girl? Well, I bet some of you would say yes. Especially you! I know you're reading this. Don't have to be shy, just admit it and continue reading.

Materialistic? Hmm... I love clothes, bags, shoes, branded, nice food, good life. Who doesn't?! But, I never wish to get it from anyone (I don't mind if you're willing to give me what I want ^^), I can do it myself. Especially, when I think I'm capable to get what I want on my own. So am I still a materialistic person? Yes, I think.

Realistic. Hmm... I like to dream, but I hate dreaming to. Ambivalent. Well, I have my vision, my plan and what I wanna be, and what I'm capable to be. So I'll stick with it and work very hard on it. So, uncertainty will always keep my confident off. That's why I hate uncertainty. I want everything to be assured. But the world us just not that easy and simple.

Mean. Well, I admit! I am mean. But only to certain people. Just don't make me hate you from the very bottom of my heart. Especially to those who don't really know me and start judging. I'm more than what you think I am. Please, you just haven't met someone like me and you think they are the best already. Your world is too swallow. Boo~

I Still Love You II

2010-07-03T23:02:00.009+10:00

Alright, continue from what I left off that day. I said, perhaps it's love that kept the relationship goes on. Or is it something else? Being a couple like the couple in the series, it is really not easy. Trust is the first thing should be gained in a relationship. Without trust, nothing can be done. Everything is over. Trust is earned. A girl needs security, a guy needs security too. So, what are the criteria consisted to feel secure? In a relationship, it's between 2 person. Just 2. No one else should be in it, including family (mother... Lol) and even friends (xbf, xgf, xcrush, xxx, bff, who ever). No no! When there's more than 3 person, it should happen when you're married with kids. Sometimes, trust should be gained with respect and understanding between each other.

Being together, the couple should have something in common, not only interest, friend or career. But I think the best thing to have together is a common goal. Something 'we' would want to achieve. I told my friend this. What is important in a relationship is what they want now and future. The goal can be as simple as being together when the time comes. Girl always tell the guy, you don't understand me, you don't know what I want. Of course a guy won't understand this, because guy never think! Even if the do think, it's would be the simplest thought on earth. No offense. What a girl want is participation and involvement. They wanna be in your plan, they wanna be in what you wanna do, they wanna be in what you wanna achieve. That's why they ought to know everything about you. But guy always think they wanna achieve something by themselves and they want you to be proud of them, proud of their achievement. Which is why, girl will never understand and so do guy. Well, a relationship is not something easy. I think I shall just look around, just look. LOL.

By the way. Ever since my holiday started, I've been working almost everyday from the day I came back from GOR. It's freaking 9 days straight. I'm so proud of myself. LOL. I know I know, probably you're thinking much 'kaching kaching' coming in. Yes! But there are also a lot of them going out because I've been shopping much. ROFL. But I'm happy what I bought thou. Not branded, but a lot of stuff. Well, not that much thou. Because some of them are for my lovely family and friends. Wee~

Oh ya! The most important thing to mention about today is, my results are out! I got 1 pass, 2 credit and 1 distinction! Wee~ Aren't you proud of me? I've been quite nervous and anxious about my result because I don't think I did well. But it seems that my effort worth the while.

'Secret mission on the run. Wee~'

I Still Love You

2010-06-27T10:16:00.004+10:00

I think I should elaborate more on what I posted on my wall yesterday.

In case you're not following my facebook wall, this is what I said,'I'll flirt around; date another guy; kiss another one and have sex with another, but I still love you.' I've been watching a series lately, two of the character in it had a weird relationship. They weren't just normal friend nor lover. They love each other, meet up once in awhile, have fun, enjoy seeing each other and such. But on the other hand, both of them still flirt around, play around even had one night stand here and there. What I'm trying to say is not me myself wanna try it out, yet. lol. Well, there must be something that tie both of them together and still wanna be together one day or never. Perhaps it's love?

To be continued... Off to work.^^

RAWR~

2010-06-24T02:43:00.002+10:00

SOME PEOPLE CAN JUST DO SOMETHING WITH THEIR BACKBONE STRAIGHT. NOW I KNOW! NOW I REALLY KNOW! SCREW YOU!

The situation is different! Can't compare. Imma just gonna practice the art of DON'T CARE. Suit yourself! >.<

I'm an idiot! Stupid! Whatever!

Detective Lily Around the World

2010-06-23T23:09:00.003+10:00

Few days ago I was furious, anxious, nervous, stress, worry, uncertain, depress, and what ever words to describe my feeling the other day. But now, I'm blank. Really blank. Don't know what to do, where to go, how to pass, who to turn to... etc. LOL Yea, I'm just crapping. Yea! I'm free now! Exam and assignments are finally over. But just for this one semester. Soon, more to come. I'll just start enjoying my holiday now.

What to do in winter? Nothing better than having steamboat with friends. Especially it's Tom Yam. The best thing is, it's after exam. Wee~ We had steamboat at Victor's house. And the Tom Yam was great to the max. So, guys! What's next? =D

I just came back from the breathe taking Great Ocean Road trip with Karen and some other friends. The view was just simply beautiful and amazing. The great ocean view just reminds me of how tiny we are as a human. Why being torture by emotion and change. Just live life fullest with no regrets.

Talking about the trip, we had fun camwhore-ing all the way. Until me and Karen were strike by the wave and our shoes get wet. How bad is that especially when it's winter. LOL. We had been walking on wet feet whole day until we reach the cottage. The cottage was lovely with a beautiful vintage fire place and a warm and cozy bed. Nothing creepy like we thought it would be. I would definitely wanna go back and stay there again. We washed and dry our shoes with stuffing newspaper in it and we even dry it with hairdryer. How smart are we^^ manage to get them dry by morning. Phew~ The next day morning, we had our breakfast at the beach. How relaxing. We did some jumping and photo taken. They were lovely. Well. Stop the crap and let the pictures do the talking.

By the way, detective Lily korek-ed something again. Call me stalker the great. It's not a good thing to be one thou. But hey guy, told you I'll find out for you. You're her so many 1st.

It's her 1st time asking a guy out.

It's her 1st time spending 12 hours with a guy.

It's her 1st time stuttering, not knowing what she's talking about.

It's her 1st time feel like living in fairytale.

"How's that? Are you touched?"

Oh ya, if you're gonna lie, try harder next time.

Wee~

2010-06-16T22:10:00.002+10:00

Finally~ My exam is over! Yea, exams and assignments are finally over for the first semester. The sleepless night that I had is now all worth the while. I didn't screw up my exam, in fact I think I did well, no regrets. Thanks to Manjit and Cassey. We did it guys!

After those countless sleepless night, had come to the consequence of teabag size eye bag and also coin size dark circle. >.< What should I do?! The eye gel won't heal so fast. I shall get myself some lemon and mask everyday. Or should I get a better concealer? Oh! Or a better solution is to sleep earlier everyday. Yes! Beauty = Sleep. I should sleep more in this coming holiday.

Well, the holiday is here. What should I do? Hmm... People please date me! >.<

Haha, everyone is in Malaysia. How?! Grr... Nevermind, I shall earn more money this coming holiday and finance myself for the coming Winter Sale! More and more baju, more and more shoes, more and more cosmetics, more and more food! Right, I'm on diet lately. So, 48kg awaits me! Watch me!

No pics for this time. I wouldn't want to show my ugly old sleepless dry face.

By the way, my coursemate, an exchange student from France, Anthony is going back coming Monday. Aww... I'm so gonna miss you, the class teacher. ^^

Oh ya! I know I've been really unreasonably emotional during that period of time. Sorry D~ ^^

Wait For Me!

2010-06-11T22:09:00.001+10:00

La la la~ Going a bit crazy lately. Stress bit. Exam next Wednesday.

Well, I've just finished all my assignment, like finally. Fuu~ That was really hectic. Finished it with 3 sleepless night which cause my teabag size eye bag >.< I need cucumber! Well, concealer may help too. hehe. Anyway, back to the assignment. I can tell you, I'm now the Tim Burton expert. Well not to the extent. But I can tell you all Tim Burton's history. Cause, my assignment was about Tim Burton. (Gaaah, shuddap! Nobody wanna know!) and it's freaking 2000 words. Kill me please! I rather die!

Anyway, after my Wednesday exam, I'm so gonna start partying! Somebody bring me out please *doggie-eye* Well, I can go myself wert. Cheh! Oh ya, and my trip awaits me. Yeay~ This holiday I'm gonna earn a lot of money! Play a lot! Spend a lot! (NO! Except this 1) Sleep a lot! Travel a lot!

So my bed, my trip, my money, my piggy, my pillow, my wallet, my prince (mana prince o?!) shall awaits me! Soon! Very soon! I will be... back? No! No holiday in Malaysia. But shall have fun in Melbourne. Wee~

Well, haven't been eating much. Then shall add, 48kg awaits me! Muahahaha. See me hot and sexy!

"I love tortoise"

To Be or Not To Be

2010-06-07T14:38:00.000+10:00

OMG! I just finished my 2000 words research paper. Relieved? Not yet. I wonder if I could pass the subject. *Cross finger cross toe* God! Please let me pass the subject. I have to! I don't wanna fail it!

Three sleepless night is definitely exhausting. I wish to have a good long sleep now. On my comfy bed. But hey wait! Exam is coming next. Would it be more and more sleepless night?

I wonder, should I or should I not retrieve my password in Facebook and back to business. No, the proper word should be back to addiction.

Breakie

2010-06-04T06:42:00.002+10:00

It's 6.23am now. I'm now still in the uni library trying to finish up my assignment. Just finish a hearty breakie at McD. It was definitely refreshing and satisfactory. Besides, I just finished an ice cream with Jeremy. We're definitely going crazy. After a 7 hours work and a sleepless night and now I'm still up trying to write my research paper. I have the structure, I have the idea, but I'm doing the research and trying to write out something. But it is not that easy. Writing now is like such a tragic task to me. I am not good in writing, structuring information and putting information together. Bla bla bla, I'm abit talking crap here already. Adrenalin stimulating. I feel awake. But I know my energy is definitely going down. Gonna black off soon. But I'll try to stay up. Until I finish everything and I can go home and have a good night sleep.

Ralio • Makan

2010-06-03T00:54:00.001+10:00

Argh...! Finally! 2 Assignments down! 1 Assignment and 1 Exam to go! Wee~ It's gonna be over soon. Real soon and I can't wait for my holiday. ^^

Had my Radio Program aired yesterday. There were couple of mistakes here and there, but I think overall was fine. Hope I'll pass. But anyway, it was fun. ^^ I like I like.

After that we went for a lovely dinner at Leveson St. in a restaurant call The Leveson. It's Tuesday so it's a Chicken Parma day. We shared an American Parma and an Entree Salad with Caramelized pork and prawn with sweet and sour sauce. Yum yum yum~

After a yummilicious dinner, followed by a warm and hearty dessert at Koko Black. Gosh, it's another Chocolate Feast. How can I not be fat!? Shit >.<

By the way, my cousin brother came to Melbourne with the wife. Of course can't miss out to meet up and grab my things. (That's my intention actually =P) and had a satisfactory Har Mee in YY house. That was like the best Har Mee ever. (This is my main intention. LOL) Feels great seeing my relatives here in a foreign place. It makes me feel like home again. Aww...

Well, the due date is approaching soon. So, sleepless night approach too. But before that, I'm gonna get a good night sleep tonight and get myself stay up tomorrow night at the uni library. I will make sure I finish the assignment before Saturday. So guys, wish me good luck and I shall come back to you in maybe two days time? hehe. Ciaoz~

" I Love Reading Letters."

Relationship Issue

2010-06-01T10:19:00.000+10:00

I was talking to a friend about his relationship with his current girlfriend. He claimed that he love her very much and wouldn't wanna leave her forever. I doubt him, player. LOL. This is like his don't know girlfriend ke-berapa. He told me about the fight the other day, he just don't wanna mention about the ex-girlfriend because he said that was a pretty bad experience. But in fact what happen was, he cheated on the ex. (I feel quite bad telling his story here. But anyway, he won't know. LOL) He claimed the ex to be a obsessed control freak. I can understand what his girlfriend was thinking, why wouldn't he mention? Cause he is guilty? Or is he hiding something else about it? Hmm... I didn't ask of course, if someone is not willing to tell I don't force. I've heard about so many ridiculous reasons of fighting between couples, I wonder how ridiculous can I be when I'm be with someone.

By the way, my final radio production project is going up today (01/06/10) at 1.30pm. You can go online and search for 3SSR. We will be on for half an hour. See you^^ We are also going to talk about this relationship issue. LOL. Oh ya, do give me some advise. Thanks. XOXO

My Homework

2010-05-31T03:29:00.000+10:00

Fuu~ I just finished an assignment due next Monday. Yea, why did I do it in such a rush? Because I have plenty of assignment due the same time! So I just finished the quite easy but not very easy assignment. LOL. What am I talking about?

Working on this assignment, reminds me of my grandmother again. Well. I really miss her, that's why. She is the best person I've ever met in my life. The assignment is about memory. It's a broad topic huh. But first thing that comes to my mind is about me, my grandmother and my mother. Us. My grandmother love listening to oldies and watching those Chinese performing art, which I call it 'dok dok qiang'. LOL. Sometimes I enjoy watching it too. Cause the story is really nice.

Well, you can have a look at my site.

Where? Just click on picture la doink~ ROFL

Well, tomorrow onwards is another hectic week to go. Wish me luck people and I shall see you in 2 weeks time. Hopefully.

Hearty Weekend

2010-05-30T20:25:00.003+10:00

Yesterday morning actually woke up at 8.30am and went shopping AGAIN. But this time I went to DFO with Eric and I bought a pair of sneakers. Like FINALLY. It's not that expensive thou. I'm gonna get rid of my old Converse. But thanks to it, I've walked through such a long journey with it. I still love it anyway. Then, Eric didn't got anything at all. He is the one who wanted to go shopping but ended empty hand. LOL.

I had a lovely, hearty, satisfactory dinner yesterday. Thanks to Victor. ^^ He came, after I finished work, and we went for Korean cuisine. Was a nice place thou. We had made a wise decision to have an early dinner, otherwise we will end up queuing for a table. Phew~ Was really nice. Then, went for dessert. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of chocolate, but it was really nice.Yum yum~We had a great night chatting and laughing all the way. I'll kick you down the escalator next time, and don't dare me for another dessert. LOL

Well, my exam and due dates are commencing soon. Like real soon. In two weeks time? I might not sleep for the rest of the weeks. So please wish me luck or if you are kind enough to help me with my assignments just buzz me^^ otherwise, till you see me on facebook. That's the time when I'm either dead lack of sleep or I'm free. LOL.

"I'll remember about the movie and lets watch Nightmare at Elm Street. =P"

VIP to TNB

2010-05-26T21:58:00.000+10:00

Woohoo, I had never in my life wake up at 8am in the morning, not that I haven't do that before but not for this purpose. I woke up that early to go shopping. Yeap! SHOPPING. Beli barang. Buy things. 買東西. And I bet Cassey had never in her life did that before. We went out at 8.30am, reach Chadstone at 9am. Eventually the mall is like just opened, not much people thou. Why would we wake up so early to go shopping in Chadstone? What is that so fantastic? It's VIP sale people! Chadstone Shopping Mall VIP Sale. But it is not like those Isetan sale or anything like those in KL. Eventually the whole mall, all the shops will be on special sale for one day. For instance, 50% off on selected item in Coach. Haven't do this for a very long time since my birthday month last year. But I only bought a dress, a knitwear, and an eye gel. That's old. Damn cha right? Hmm... Thought wanna get something from La Coste, but I didn't get it too. Can't get the size I want. Grr... After a good 6 hours shop, what's next?! Movie of course. Letters to Juliet is on today. It was really a sweet and lovely movie. It's really nice to me. Eventually the whole cinema is only the 3 of us. We are really like VIP today, as if we occupied the whole cinema for ourselves. LOL.

After movie, we took a bus home. But to get the bus, we waited for an hour. Yes! 1 hour. Actually we missed a bus which can take us to where we came from, of course the bus we took after that can bring us home too. But it is a 1 hour journey to get home. Total up will be 2 hours! 2 hours! Can you imagine that?! If I'm in KL, I can just drive and go home, that only take me half an hour, maximum. Terrible! Now I miss my car. = 3=

" I'm madly, deeply, truly, passionately in love with you."

Wait? No More!

2010-05-23T01:20:00.001+10:00

I hate waiting, I really hate it very much. Why do we have to wait everyday? Waiting for train, waiting for people, waiting for turns, waiting for calls, waiting for time to pass, waiting for payroll, waiting to cross the road, waiting for expectation...etc. Do you really know how much time we spend on just waiting? No, it is a waste. Our whole life had already been spending time to wait for the time when we have to go to where we should go, why would we want to spend time on other stupid blind wait? I'm done, I'm really done with waiting. It's really frustrating. Grrr...........>.<

It's Me, in Melbourne

2010-05-22T01:46:00.002+10:00

It's autumn here in Melbourne. Leaves are getting red and falling all over. Everyday seems to be so chilly and gloomy. It's kind of a depressing season though. I'm sleeping more and more. As days getting colder and colder. Gosh, and my food intake is like, I wouldn't want to describe about it. It's really... BAD!

Well, I've stopped facebook for the time being. Ridiculous right? Sounds like something that will never ever happen on Lily. This is like a miracle. But yes I'm doing it because it's my final project period. Work load is crazy. I haven't even start any one of them and they all due the same week. Two of them even due on the same date! Why on earth lecturers wanna do this to us?! Gosh! Anyway, luckily I just killed one of them last week. I mean my assignment of course. It's a group assignment. And I have this really uber madness cute groupmates. We had our presentation in class the other day. Was not too bad. I hope I did well. But I'm kinda nervous about it though. I'm now working very hard on my Network Literacies final major project. Which requires me to think broad, think deep and think more.Trying very hard to figure out what to do. hmm... Hope it won't take me too long to figure out.

By the way, I went to the Level One of Barista training in Toby's Estate Espresso School. Was great and I learned a lot. Which I could hardly learn it back in Malaysia. Well, it was just level one. So much practice to do actually. I'm still not very good. Way to go. Petrie really like me. But as he started to expect much from me, I feel the pressure. Hope I won't disappoint him. I don't like to disappoint anyone. Anyway, I'll do my best. ^^

"I like it. I really like it. It was the sweetest thing ever. The effort, I appreciate it much. I mean it. Really."

Lost

2010-05-18T21:44:00.001+10:00

This is like the don't know how many times I've been lost. Really lost. Sometimes, I keep pondering about whether what I'm doing now is what I really want? Will this lead to what I'm looking for in life or future? I wouldn't know. Nobody would know. I used to be very sure about what I'm doing, where I stand and what's my strength. But not anymore. I feel helpless with my work, my things, what it requires. I don't know what I'm doing. Feeling helpless. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to give up. Cause I know, when this is over, I will be free. Real free.

Time flies, I've been here for 3 months. Didn't know what I'm doing, what I have to do. I scared, I phobia, I'm afraid, what ever way you call a fear. I'm now in it. Deep in it. Wonder if I would be more knowledgeable after this. Or, even more lost? What is going on with me? Keep ranting about this crap. Should start doing my final assignment which I barely understand what the lecturer want or what is it required. I'll hang on. I hope so.

Motivation • Inspiration

2010-05-16T10:40:00.001+10:00

I don't know why but I just don't have the motivation and inspiration to do my homework nor study for my final. I've been procrasinating so much to get it started. This I'd definitely not a good sign. I don't wanna fail my subject. I can't bear to fail any of them. I'll get killed! Seriously. Somebody please help me! Gosh, really I need motivation and inspiration. Things are getting on my nerves. It just won't get better. I seriously need an urge to get something started.

Future?

2010-05-11T21:19:00.001+10:00

I promise to show you guys the yummilicious sorbet I made yesterday. Now, here you go. ^^

Well it's not something very hard to make. But it's just a simple and nice dessert. Had it with my lovely housemates. *Happy* I wonder if people would think I'm obsessed with food and cooking. I like exploring. You know, cooking gave me a sense of achievement which you can't really get it else where. I doubt myself in all ways. I doubt myself can do everything. But food is very straight forward, if the person likes your food, it's there on their face. =) I just feel happy about it.

Earlier, after class I actually went for a coffee with Cassey and Brian. It was a lovely cafe. With nice cafe and the boss was quite nice. A warm place.

We chat a lot, about plans, about dreams, about reality, about photography...etc. We were talking about what Brian wanna do in future and what is about in Malaysia market. Sounds like some kinda serious topic right? And we kinda like discuss about our own view. Ended up with him saying I'm a realistic and kinda like a closed-minded person. Cause he say marketing person should be somebody who has high EQ and tolerance of acceptance. Well, to some extend I am really a person like this. I get worked up with things. But as I start to work, I started to learn. Learn to not show everything on my face. This is a world that don't like to see the ugly part of it. So, yea. I'm learning. Even if I'm really angry, I don't show it. This is a practice. A practice of EQ. I'm still a newbie. He also said, marketing does not suit me as my career.True. I totally agree with that. I'm not a creative person honestly. I'm just equipped with skills. Editing skills, PR skills, writing skills...etc. But, I'm definitely not a creative person. Probably, I think in the future, I would diverse to something else to be my career. I thought of taking law, but sometimes I would think, does law really suits me? Or what suits me best? I'm lost sometimes. But I know taking comm is not wrong. But it won't be what I'll really do in the future.

Oh ya, tell you something exciting. My bestie, Zul and wife is gonna have a baby soon. So happy and excited about it. =D No matter it's a boy or girl, I just wish Mohaiza and her baby healthy. Wonder if I could be back on time to see the baby when she deliver? Huu huu~ Excited. A good news for today.

Coffee • Food • Seduction

2010-05-10T15:41:00.006+10:00

It's been a week. Hmm... This has been a busy week. Really busy with work, homework and outing. Of course all the outings has to do with eat. LOL. Don't know since when I realize that I love to eat. Like really love to eat. Everyday, I've been thinking about what's new to try out today and what's to cook today.

Worked three day straight. Practicing my barista skill. Well, I'm almost there I guess. Almost. But not good yet. I passed the test and got the job of course. Gonna go for a barista training. Boss gonna pay for it. Seems like some quite advance professional course. I'm going professional. LOL

Coffee, is not something I fancy. Cause I tend to get dizzy when I take coffee. But something weird, I don't experience that over here when I drink while working. I've been drinking quite a lot. But won't really get addict to it. Hmm... I'm weird.

Over the weekend, I had a lovely gourmet dinner after work at cousin's house with cousin's family and also Vincent and Pearly, which was superbly wonderful. Let me tell you about the dinner. What's on the menu?

Entree- Nyonya Pie Tee

Soup- Mixed Fishball with Chicken Soup

Main- Oso Busso with Nasi Minyak

Dessert- Pineapple Sorbet with Mandarin

They are just wonderful. It's well made by my cousin of course. ^^ What else we had? We had another dessert for the day, which is a nicely made chocolate mud cake. They are really nice and we can't bear to eat it. Just too beautiful to be destroy. Anyway, we ate it too.

Much laughter going on that night talking with someone with some life experience. We were talking about this sex issue again. Gender issue I mean of course.

What is the first rule to get a guy? Knowing what you have and what you can do, which is what you are capable in catching a guy.

What is the second rule then? Get a target of course, but in Vincent's word, it's call VICTIM. Yea, victim. Is it that bad to be target? Hmm... Understand your target and know what your target have.

What is the third? Which is the most crucial one. Knowing how to create this very thing call - 'illusion'. Which actually laugh my ass off.

Illusion is another words is conning. Being with someone is about giving what he/she desire but in your way. Not necessary to be the proper way. Giving people hope is an illusion. Illusion to drive someone to something. This is not cheating, nor lying, nothing to do with trustworthy. Say it in an ugly way, what does a man desire when comes to a women? Nothing else but just S.E.X. Nothing more than that. And Vincent agreed it. So I asked him, after sex, there is nothing else to look forward, what drive a family then? Hmm... This has to do with seduction then.

He told me there's 3 types of seduction. What is it?

1. Physical seduction

2. Mental seduction

3. Spiritual seduction

Hmm... Well, the 1st and 2nd type is understandable. But what is spiritual seduction? I'm gonna see him and each time I see him, he is gonna explain a type of seduction to me, which means I'm gonna have a few more lesson to go. LOL. I'm looking forward to it. I think he shouldn't be a physiotherapist but he should be psychiatrist or maybe a magazine writer. Interesting.

By the way, I made my house a box of Lemon Lime Sorbet. Show you guys some other time. Time for homework. Ciaoz~

M.A.D

2010-05-04T20:33:00.003+10:00

You know, when you are mad to the extend, you won't get angry, you won't scold, you won't do anything. But the heart is feeling so bad that you want to just leave everything behind and get some sleep. I'm having this feeling now. Yes, I'm mad. Very mad. But I just don't know why I can be so calm and quiet. I just didn't do anything stupid, scolding, throwing tantrum, nothing! Basically really nothing but sitting here quietly typing this words out. I don't know when will I burst out. Or maybe when someone evoke something, some issue, I might crash I think. This sounds a lil bit stupid, but that's what I'm feeling now. MAD!

"Please, just leave me alone..."